true lies and passion washing on your shore

I feel bad being passive aggressive, but I can never think of good, strong arguments until the confrontation is over and I've had time to think. So here we go.

My art teacher told me today that the style I used in one of the sketchbook assignments we did (to draw a cartoon version of ourselves) was anime, when it was atually modelled after the Flapjack style of cartoon--much more Cartoon Network.

She then went on to tell me that drawing in the anime style (the style which I've been drawing in for 7+ years and the only style I've ever had; though it has drastically evolved over that time) is not a valid style in the art classroom, or for that matter, in the art world, when I move on to college and a career.

I don't understand this, for several reasons.

One: The style I did the assignment in was not anime. She has been after me on this for two years already, and this must mean she's hypersensitive to it with me. Other kids in her classes, at my level and higher, do similar styles (more anime-reminiscent, in fact) and don't get bothered by her for it. She's seeing an anime style in my work when it isn't there.

Two: I can draw realistically. I took a whole course on it over the summer to strengthen my skills, and I have a whole sketchpad full of drawings of my classmates, rendered in a purely realistic style, to prove it. I do have the abilities, but the style I have is mine, and I prefer it to the more realistic style.

Three: She specifically said she wants me to have a style I can modify and apply to a wide range of things. That is what anime is essentially all about. Anime varies from styles like the ones in Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon, to those in Miyazaki films, to things like the highly realistic style of MushiShi. No two anime styles are the same. And mine, in my opinion and experience, is one that drastically changes from project to project. It can be more or less realistic based on where I'm using it. What about that isn't what she wants?

Four: I have been drawing in this style for over 7 years. Maybe more like 8, actually. I have no plan to change my style later in life--I want to stay in or around the anime field, because I like the culture and the concepts, as well as the people. Isn't this course getting me ready for what I'll do later in life? Why should I scrap all of my work thus far in my life and start from scratch for one high school course? That's like telling someone they can't listen to metal music anymore because the people around them like alternative. Or telling someone from India to stop eating indian food because they live in America, and here in America we eat hamburgers.

Five: She says that an art college won't take me with an anime-style portfolio. Problem 1: I don't have a single anime-style piece in my portfolio. I know it's not widely accepted yet in the art world, and wouldn't put something in there that would jeopardize the portfolio as a whole. Problem 2: I attended a Portfolio Day in Boston last year where I talked to a representative from the college I want to go to who said that they have a large part of the fine arts staff who is discovering this style as being more and more popular, and it's beginning to be recognized. By the time I attend that college, it may even have validity in a classroom. Just because this teacher wants realism, doesn't mean I have to abandon anime.

Six: Art is expressing yourself in your own way. If I can't use my own methods for what I do in the art world and how I express myself.... what's the point? Why should I express myself the way one person wants me to? She wouldn't want me doing a painting that someone else told me to do, and claim it was an original idea. It's the same thing. That's like lying to the art school I'm going to, or the people I'll work for later in life. That doesn't seem logical, or right, to me.

Seven: My style is not that much anime-ish. It has eveolved drastically over the years, like I've said, even between freshman year, when she started to notice it, and now. I believe it's a well-developed style that I've worked hard at. Really, really hard. And who's to say I'm going to be drawing people all day at a future job? I may go into literature, or photography. It's not worth the hell she's giving me over it. Grade objectively. That's the idea. Right?

Eight: I suppose I wouldn't have as much of a problem with this if she wasn't being condescending to me about it, like I'm some child who she's scolded and who won't listen to her. I do like her as a teacher; she's a very effective, knowledgable one, and is good at being criticizing of me and making me better. And I hear and understand what she's saying and why she's saying it to me, I really do. But my opinions differ. (My friends tell me just to smile and nod, because senior year we won't be assigned anything specifically, because it's a studio art course, so I just have to get through this year and completely avoid cartoon-drawing in my senior year. I'm incredibly tempted to do just this.)

TL;DR: What do you guys think? Grin and bear it? Fight back? Keep going on my merry little way?

Currently~
Mood: discouraged
Music: Careless--Amos Lee
Video: news
Lit: the Jungle--Upton Sinclair

if ten million fireflies lit up the world

SOOO. Yesterday was my birthday... and the day kinda sucked, but Ema made me a lovely cake and came over to my house after dance to eat it with me.

Today we're actually celebrating it, because the fam was too busy last night to celebrate.

I feel seventeen. Usually on birthdays, I still feel like I'm the age I was. But this year, 16 seems young. Junior on high school seems old, but seventeen doesn't. Maybe I'm coming into something. An era, perhaps.

We'll see.

To 17 years on this beautiful, messed up planet of ours.

Currently~
Mood: a bit stressed
Music: Owl City--Ocean Eyes <3<3<3<3
Video: w/e
Lit: The Jungle--Upton Sinclair

christ, you know it ain't easy

Pop Idol is tonight. I'm already kind of (really) nervous.

I wish there was something I could do to take my mind off of the crowd. ...I wish I was a better solo performer. I could be so much better if I didn't shake so much on stage.

Poo....

Currently~
Mood: nnervoussss
Music: The Ballad of John and Yoko--The Beatles
Video: stuff
Lit: Huck Finn

so i lay my head back down

I just went to the new eye doctor, and he dialated my eyes.

IT SUCKS. MY HEAD HURTS, AND I CANT SEE CLOSE UP STUFF, AND THE SUN IS DAMN BRIGHT.

D<

Currently~
Mood: ill
Music: Crystalised--The xx
Video:
Lit: Huck Finn

you caught me off guard; now i'm running

Today was picture day, and I had no homework... I got out of last period Bio to go to Art~! *SCORE*

Tonight are the Pop Idol preliminaries. I did really well at the practice last night, singing I Want To Hold Your Hand from Across the Universe, so I feel good about tonight. (Plus I know a few of the judges, lol). And I think my fast song for next week, the finals, will be Put Your Records on by Corinne Bailey Rae.

It will be cool.

Currently~
Mood: cheerful
Music: 1,2,3 Turnaround--Christian
Video: w/e
Lit: Jorge Luis Borges for Spanish

i will cry, i will love you to the day i die

Not much going on, actually. Except that SAKURA IS THE MOST EPIC PERSON EVER, AND SHE WROTE ME THIS, WHICH NEARLY MADE ME CRY: [link]

;A;

Our RP is... orgasmically good. I can't even.

Currently~
Mood: enthused
Music: Yiruma--First Love
Video: w/e
Lit: nothing, atm

till i find you

Finished all of my homework today. Took two and a half hours, but it felt good.

I think it'll be cold enough to wear my new grey suede boots tomorrow~

THE EPIC EVENT RP CONTINUES TONIGHT! The final breakdown will probably be tomorrow night. :3

Currently~
Mood: pumped
Music: Till I Find You--Yiruma (The whole album, First Love, is gorgeous. I'm in love with it <3)
Video: feh (OBAMA'S SPEECH LAST NIGHT, OH MAN)
Lit: nothing, atm @o@

the final word you ever uttered to me was love

Second day much, much better than the first. (Would've been perfect if Art hadn't been double-booked with Bio and I had to leave.... fffffffff)

Mr. Miller is still cool, since 6th grade. I'm sitting next to Alex Cobb, and the girl who transferred here from Brazil (I think it was Brazil...), Francis, sits in front of us. I hope I can speak spanish to her when I overcome my fear... and that she doesn't speak Portuguese, ahaha.

Our comm sem got switched to Ms Tavarez's room, which is cool, I guess. There's a Mexican exchange student in there whose broken English is so, so cute <3 We're gonna have a pasta party.

English teacher is officially cool. He did a social experiment on us, and said we were the most unique reaction he's ever gotten and that we messed up the whole experiment by being civilized and rational. Shava and I agreed our solution seemed obvious, hahaha.

SEAN CALLED LASTNIGHT. Sean from Anime class Sean. Instructor Sean. He said he want my work for a slideshow he's doing of exemplary work from his students. He said he's always loved my work and that he thinks it's very sweet. I don't remember getting recognition for my anime/manga work, like ever, so it's exciting.

I'm also keeping up with Colin on facebook! He demands more Reeses.

Other school is cool too... I'll see how this whole Bio thing works out. Then I'll deal with the semi-hell that is pre-calculus. ;____;

Currently~
Mood: buoyant
Music: Drops of Jupiter--Train
Video: w/e
Lit: Finished Grapes! On to Mice and Men.

love is not a victory march

I expected nothing from my first day, and I got almost that. I really like my English and Spanish teachers so far, Mr. Collins and Ms. Trubiano (who got rave reviews from Abby C).

Pre-Calc will also be cool--the teacher seems nice, and I'm sitting with Abby R and Emily.

Biology will... not be fun. I can't switch up into Honors, and frankly don't want to, now that I know having the lab periods will mess up all my classes.

Art will be a haul. But I have to be up to it.

I hope the first month will be better than the first day.

Currently~
Mood: discouraged
Music: Say--John Mayer
Video: Alice In Wonderland
Lit: 20 more pages in Grapes of Wrath--Of Mice and Men next.

you save me and i will save the day

I'm seriously freaking out now. It's coming, and my mind isn't there yet. fffffffffuck.

I want to stay home and do the epic RP I've been planning with Sakura ;^;

1 day left.

Currently~
Mood: pissy
Music: Save the Day--Train
Video: w/e
Lit: almost done with Grapes of Wrath...

no matter what has ever come to me

The party is today. The patio is covered with water balloons, beach balls, and pinata guts.

I don't expect to get any sleep tonight.

Hopefully I'll be able to talk to Sakura~ ;A; Our roleplay last night (18) was beautiful <3

Currently~
Mood: anticipation
Music: Use Somebody--Kings of Leon
Video: w/e
Lit: Grapes of Wrath (a little past halfway. eep.)

honestly, we'll never stop this train

Still working on all my projects. Given myself an invisible deadline of Friday. I can't even think about the end of the week--the thought of school makes me want to barf.

It's still hot out.

Currently~
Mood: emo
Music: Stop This Train--John Mayer
Video: Bonnie Hunt
Lit: Grapes of Wrath

i was on your porch lastnight

I finally finished the second set of paper babies, yesterday. Finally. Greece and Japan.

here

I think it's Italy and Germany next, for Emma (sakuratsukikage) and Aurus (aurussteelsword) for being sweet and awesome and so wonderful <3

Currently~
Mood: motivated
Music: Stop This Train--John Mayer
Video: cooking channel
Lit: Grapes of Wrath

good times never seemed so good

My wireless internet is out 3:

I think it's a hardware problem.

TODAY WAS THE SANDCASTLE COMPETITION! We won first place in our category!! We got a golden shovel!! It was so hardcore. We had a ton of fun, and I am incredibly sore.

Currently~
Mood: sore
Music: Blackbird--The Beatles
Video: w/e
Lit: new manga.

they say you can see your future in a glass of water

Today was the third day of realism drawing class. I met a lot of cute people in that class, and I'm doing fairly well for myself as far as the drawing goes. We've done a lot of contour drawing. I did a fairly siccessful self-portrait today, and it took me a long time to get the hang of gesture drawing. I think I have it now though.

Wayne and Loewy and Chris and Colin are coming to dinner tonight. Then we'll be saying goodbye to Colin for good. *cries*

I'm gonna miss him. A lot.

Currently~
Mood: complex (and hungry)
Music: LeftRightLeftRightLeft [Live]--Coldplay
Video: fanvids
Lit: w/e

i wanna be so much more than this

Last night was the planning dinner, and it was a ton of fun. We came up with an amazing idea~

I finally got Sakura-chan's request done! ;A; Now, on to the paper babies!

Currently~
Mood: relaxed
Music: My Sundown--Jimmy Eat World
Video: APHell II--The Pasta
Lit: fics

viva la vida

We just dropped Colin off at Wayne and Loewy's. /sadface

But we're going over there tomorrow night to have dinner and plan what to build when we go to the Sandcastle Building Contest in a week! :33

Sarah's back, also. She said the Coldplay concert was really awesome. And Colin and Chris are going to Paul McCartney at Fenway tonight!! I'm so jealous, I was making faces in the car when Colin told me that made him fear for his safety. Waaaaah~~

My RP's with Sakura-chan, a.k.a Emma, have become an unhealthy addiction. I'm RPing with her instead of doing her request fic, haha. And my paper babies, and the next chapter of the Frog Prince fic, the list goes ON.

Not enough hours in the day.

Currently~
Mood: hot n' cold
Music: Life--Kimaguren <333
Video: n/a
Lit: I should get going on Grapes of Wrath... I had a dream last night that I hadn't finished it and school was starting XD

Andre the Giant has a posse

Today we went to the Institue of Contemporary Art. The show was all the work of Shepherd Fairey, they guy who did the red and blue HOPE Obama poster that got in all that trouble. I got a set of his "Andre the Giant has a posse" stickers, and there's one on the laptop I'm typing this from.

We also made a trip to Dick Blick, and I got pens and bristol and fixatif spray... and two boxes of gum, one which is Happy Gum for Your Crappy Life and the other, Freakin' Magical Unicorn Gum (which makes you poop sunshine).

And we went to Coldstone Creamery, and Abby got back from Aussie land last night and is coming over in a bit. Colin's slowly getting over his jet lag.

Currently~
Mood: freakin' magical
Music: Hetalia Ska Mix II
Video: n/a
Lit: stuff (Haru Wo Daite Ita manga)

whisper words of wisdom

We went to Global today to go shopping, and I got some adorable skirts, a beautiful chinese-style dress, and an AMERICA LEATHER JACKET. It literally looks just like it except for the wool collar. But I'll sew it on. I'm mondo excited.

COLIN COMES TOMORROW~~

Currently~
Mood: EXCITED
Music: Across the Universe soundtrack
Video: n/a
Lit: fanfics

when you only had barely enough to hang on

So our plan now is to get an Artist's Alley table for Anime Boston next year, and sell my Hetalia figures and Rush Complex books of chapters 1 & 2. IT'S GONNA KICK ASS.

My hetalia guys:

So. yes. I'm making the whole world, eventually. X3

Currently~
Mood: EXCITED FOR RENT TONIGHT
Music: Dashboard Confessional
Video: misc
Lit: our RP :3

HOT DAMN.

I PASSED MY PERMIT TEST.

HELL YES, MOFOS.

I'M SO BLEEDING EXCITED IT'S ALL OVER, I'M SCREAMING AS I TYPE THIS.

Currently~
Mood: ECSTATIC
Music: Hetalia Ska Mix II
Video: fanvids
Lit: w/e

you would not believe your eyes

Slept until 1:30 yesterday. I think it's a new record. (Course I was up until 2:00 am, but...)

It was sunday, so my pally was on almost all day, and we RP'd like crazy. It was the funnest thing everr..... I love her for putting up with me ;A; She's the biggest sweetheart ever.

I hope we'll do it again tonight...

She's also on Twitter now. Hahaha~

Currently~
Mood: elated
Music: Owl City--Fireflies (I'm really into these guys this week)
Video: Alex McKee crap
Lit: fanfics

eras tu mi necesidad

I worked for Virginia today, and we cleaned up her new studio for the open studios tonight. I met lots of cool people as well. The Winchell Building is just fuul of awesome artists.

Her energy is so intense, and it captures you when you're around her. I always feel invigorated and tired after i've been with her. She has so much in her head, it almost makes mine spin.

I'm going to see a movie later with Ema and Mori. I dunno what we're seeing, but it will be fun to hang out with them.

Currently~
Mood: tired...
Music: Evanesence
Video: cosplay hilarity
Lit: w/e

come on baby we ain't gonna live forever

Spent the day at the beach with Ema and her mom and brother and his friend. It was really beautiful out and we had alot of fun...

but I got ANOTHER sunburn, this time on the backs of my thighs, from lying on my stomach with my upper half under the umbrella and my legs out in the sun.

I didn't think I could burn on my legs... but I guess that's the front of my legs...

I'm such a dumbass.

Currently~
Mood: pouty
Music: My Sundown--Jimmy Eat World
Video: w/e
Lit: I need to get going on Grapes of Wrath....

llegaste tu... y todo cambio

150th post~ <3

I'm done with babysitting for... like, the summer. DX

I'm gonna be kinda bored for the next couple of weeks... but hopefully I'll get some jobs with Virginia and I'll get to paint and stuff~ And mom's making me get my learner's permit before Colin arrives ;_; I'm scared....

I went to Dug Pond with Olivia and her friend Alice today... I didn't get in the water, but I did get some nice sun.

My sunburn's peeling like crazy... 9X

Currently~
Mood: summery
Music: Llegaste Tu--Jesse & Joy
Video: APHell
Lit: BLONDE AMBITION~!

the sky is blue; it's beautiful, and so are you

My sunburn hurts ;A;

EMA CAME OVER TODAY~ And we got more RC stuff accomplished (in 6 hours) than we ever have in one sitting EVER. We have more than half the forseeable story planned out, as well as most of the omake! Much merriment was had, and it was just awesome to be productive again <3

ALSO. I don't have to work tomorrow, cause the girls' grandmother is taking Olivia! (This week i'll only have Olivia, next week it'll be just Gracie.) I have another day to let my sunburn recover and let my neck heal from where I slept on it funny lastnight while I was trying to avoid sleeping on my burn DX

I'm a mess.

Currently~
Mood: dyin'
Music: Flying--The Secret Machines
Video: stuff
Lit: stuff

you're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow

This 4th of July was pretty amazing.

Saturday we saw the parade in Natick, which was really fun. Then we drove down and had a party at Uncle Trip's. Everyone was there, even Tyler and Lindsey. It was really fun, and we got to see the first twenty or so minutes of the Breakfast Club. I need to see the rest of that movie.

Today we went out for breakfast with Grandpa, and it was really yummy, and then we went to the beach house and had the typical feast. It was really fun and the weather for both days has been absolutely drop-dead gorgeous.

I LOOK LIKE A LOBSTER. I'm burned on my shoulders, all the way down to my wrists on both arms, on my chest above my bra line and down my back until the back of my tank top. It stings so, so badly. I didn't even know I could get this burned! It's like something out of a comedy movie! I'm actually a little impressed.

Currently~
Mood: paaaaaaaiiiiiinnn
Music: Put Your Records On--Corinne Bailey Rae
Video: Hetalia fan vids
Lit: Grapes of Wrath--Steinbeck

a grey color; it's our perception

Still raining.

Girls are still adorable.

Currently~
Mood: hyper
Music: Tu y Yo--Pilar Diaz
Video: MetroCon stuff
Lit: w/e

birds flyin' high, you know how i feel

Nothing exciting happens on Mondays...

I went back to babysitting the girls, and we watched movies all day since it's (STILL) raining. It's been raining almost non-stop for... four weeks, this Friday. In june. That's just so, so wrong.

I went to see the proposal last night with Carolyn, and it was really sweet, She's dating this really cute brazillian in our class now, and his name is Josh. X3

I can't wait for Ema and Abbs to get back from their Mission Trip in Louisiana. I wanna have sleepovers and stuff ;A;

Also, I have a checking account! Sweet, right?

Currently~
Mood: drowsy
Music: Good Morning--Singing in the Rain
Video: stuff on my iPod, thanks to this lovely place~
Lit: Grapes of Wrath

we're tumbling down, we're spiralling

I don't know what to think about Michael Jackson's death.

I mean, he was Elvis. He was a musical genius, he was out-of-this-world famous, and he suffered a tragic demise. Elvis.

I think I feel more bad for all of his fans, who miss him so much, than I do for him. I know alot of people are really torn up over it. I guess I'm just sad for him. His life wasn't lived on a rainbow farm, exactly. But he was extremely brilliant, I won't dispute that.

The world will miss him.

In other news, Liv and Gracie are soooooooooo adorable, and we watched Princess Diaries and went to Crazy Jayne's for ice cream and got caught in the rain. I love them so much <33

Currently~
Mood: sentimental
Music: Falling Slowly--Glen Hansard
Video: Thriller, haha
Lit: APH doujinshi

i wanna feel a car crash, to let go

I don't even want to THINK about the report card I got in the mail today. (F on the chem exam, C+ on the History, A's in pretty much everything else).

Today was my first day babysitting Gracie and Olivia. It wasn't bad at all--we watched Hairspray and played Pass the Pigs. I look forward to tomorrow. They're so freakin' adorable X33

Currently~
Mood: relaxed
Music: Car Crash--Matt Nathanson
Video: Eddie Izzard stand up <3
Lit: Grapes of Wrath

i've gotta get some life back into my life

I am in a fairly foul mood today, and I feel more foul about the mood than I do the day. I have to remember not to start off my morning by reading an hour of Someday This Pain Will Be Useful to You, cause the main character and narrator is a DICK, and he's a dick to everyone around him and I think if I met him in real life I'd punch him in the face and yell at him to stop being a dick.

He just judges people for thinking differently from these self-righteous opinions he forms of the world. You can't control what people think and to judge them and resent them for it is possibly the most dicky thing you can do.

Not to mention he's a depressed mofo with too many issues to count. He thinks the whole fucking world is a matrix and everything and everyone is out to brainwash him. It gets me so mad, and I can't start out my day like that.

I had a very strange moment last night. I sat out on the front steps after I unlocked the door for Sarah to come home, and the night was so oddly beautiful it kind of made me really happy. I also knew if my sister found me sitting out on the steps when she came home, she'd call me a weirdo, but I made the conscious decision not to care.

I dunno... it was just... very strange and wonderful and for a second I think I knew what it was to love a land. The weather was just amazing and I felt very distinctly suspended in time and it was an odd sensation, but I liked it.

ANYWAY. That's all.

Currently~
Mood: grumpy cos i'm grumpy
Music: Before the Parade Passes By--Barbra Streisand
Video: n/a
Lit: read the first paragraph.

I HAD A BAAAAYBEEE; IT WUZ MA SUUUUN

So... yesterday? I went to the mall with Ema and got some yummies and go-blonde shampoo. And I went out to CPK with the fam.

I feel very productive today. I got my bookshelves rearranged to make room for the 7 volumes of Death Note that Abby gave me... and I transported my scanner to my room so i'll stop procrastinating and get all my RC sketches from the last six months together.

Mom and Gompy and Trip and Peter are going to the sox game later. I'm kinda jealous... I hope it stays beautiful outside. The 7-day-stretch of rain finally ended!! Gompy and Peter are going to stay the night tonight, and I can't wait to see Gompy.

I'm listening to Dave and Joel's review of the 24 season 7 finale from a couple weeks ago. It's beautiful. They love tearing that show to shreds.

Currently~
Mood: productive
Music: Don't Bring Me Down--Sia
Video: Hetalia MADs
Lit: Becoming Jane Austen--Jon Spence

how long do you wanna be loved? is forever enough?

Today was a little rough-and-tumble.

This morning was Sarah's eighth-grade graduation, which was already sad enough for her. But to top it off, her good friend Emma's mother died last night after battling cancer for a long time. When we arrived at the breakfast this morning, I felt like the only person in the whole caf who wasn't sobbing. All of her freinds were really broken up, and my sister was carrying a box of tissues with her through the entire ceremony. I thought poor sweet Jessica wasn't going to make it. I love that girl I think more than my sister does. She's such a sweetheart, and seeing her cry like that almost brought me to tears. I felt so bad for everyone, especially Emma.

But then it was Lorraine's surprise birthday party! Typical me, I showed up a few minutes early and she hadn't even left yet! I had to duck while mom pulled out to drive away as she walked to her car right in front of us!! But thankfully she didn't recognize any of us, cos of the new car. And soon everyone arrived and we all hid and Barrett (her boyfriend) jumped out when she came in and then we all jumped out and she was really surprised.

It was raining so we couldn't go to the beach like we planned, but we went to the Johnson playground instead and played around in the rain, and played volleyball in the field. Everyone was very wet when we came back, but we were all happy (except Ema, that priss. XDD) and we had cake.

I think it was a good day, though. And I have lots of new books from Abby C to read!! (The lemons didn't work, by the way. They just kind gave my hair the typical sunned look it always has at the end of summer. But we had fun sitting in her backyard for two and a half hours!)

Currently~
Mood: youthful vigor!
Music: Lullaby--Dixie Chicks
Video: Party in Sweden's Pants!
Lit: Death Note--Tsugumi Ohba

guess we'll have to wait until the summer time~~!

I. AM. FUCKING. DONE.

My English and Chem finals (fairly easy) are OVER. I spent probably an hour jumping around the kitchen screaming my head off. My throat is a bit sore now, hahahaha.

SUMMER BEGINS TODAY. HAIR DYEING AND BEACH PARTIES IN THE NEAR FUTURE. STAY TUNED FOR GOOD TIMES.

Currently~
Mood: BYDKHGDAYGSGANSDHBSFUGNHSAB
Music: Lovers Are Losing--Keane
Video: n/a
Lit: Someday This Pain Will Be Useful to You

60 years of sorrow, you got 5 or 6 of bliss

Dance is over.

I feel like this year has really been my best performance year ever. I made barely any mistakes at all, was hardly ever overly nervous to the point where it was making me mess up, and I just really felt in the zone this year. All of my dances went really, really well and I feel like I looked really good and everyone could see me.

Now that it's over though, and I feel finals coming, I actually have lost steam in waiting for summer. I hate it, but I feel almost like I'll be bored these coming months. BUT I CAN'T THINK THAT!! This summer will be kickass!!

I'm going over to Abby's Wednesday and we're going to dye our hair with lemons, and then thursday we're having a surprise party for Lorraine! (I hope she doesn't read this... she probably wouldn't.) So After finals are over it's time to PARTY!!

Currently~
Mood: anticipation
Music: Smile--Lily Allen
Video: n/a
Lit: The Grapes of Wrath--John Steinbeck

it feels like the only way is the wrong way

I'M DONE WITH CLASSES.

My first final (history--not terrible) and all my classes were today. I don't have to sit through CHEMISTRY or HISTORY ANYMORE.

The first dance performance is tonight and I feel so relaxed about everythingit feels so good. The stress I was feeling yesterday (when I got hysterical and had a nervous breakdown in chem) feels pretty far away right at this moment. It's so nice to be able to focus on something physical, that's within my control, instead of something mental which is never guaranteed.

I look forward to doing rush complex stuff with Emily tonight (if she'll pay attention to me instead of her new PSP, lol) and reading my (free, SCORE) copies of Grapes of Wrath and The Portable Steinbeck. Maybe I could bring my laptop.....

Currently~
Mood: feather-light
Music: It Only Takes A Moment--Hello, Dolly!
Video: w/e
Lit: The Grapes of Wrath--John Steinbeck

i'm tired of being alone, so hurry up and get here

I can't believe it's monday again.

I have a health exam tomorrow @_@

BUTBUT. My chem project went off without a hitch!! And now I have a whole class to attack the Review Packet of Death, which is full of problems I don't understand!! 8D

FML.

Currently~
Mood: go away, please
Music: Death by Chocolate--Sia
Video: n/a
Lit: n/a

oh, you set my soul alive

I just finished my health vocab. I think it took a total of around.... 10 hours? 11? Something like that.

I am SO HAPPY it's over, but I almost feel like there's more to do, like it's unfinished somehow. Whatever. I am so past caring.

I finally drew some Rush Complex after I got home from Abby & Ema & Mack's Confirmation Party last night, and it was so gratifying. It feels like its been months. I can't wait until two weeks from now, when I can do it all the time.

....ON TO THE SPANISH PROJECT. HI-HO SILVER.

Currently~
Mood: triumphant
Music: Supermassive Black Hole--Muse
Video: MADs
Lit: fanfics...

open up your mind, see like me

Thank heaven above, it's friday. I never thought it would get here.

So, i'll lay my pathetic life out for you:

tomorrow: working on final health project, spanish project, chem lab from hell, and preparing for health final exam
sunday: more of the same
monday: spanish project due
tuesday: health final exam, health project due
wednesday: final deadline for finishing up the chem lab from hell
thursday: chem lab due, final full day of classes, dance concert dress rehearsal
friday: history final exam, last day of classes (art book cover due), dance performance #1
saturday: dance performance #2, studying for exams
sunday: collapsing in a heap, more studying
monday: algebra and spanish exams, studying like mad for chem
tuesday: english and chem (a.k.a, death) exams
wednesday: MY FUCKING LIFE BEGINS.

More for my own reference than for yours. Items may be added over the next couple days.

X.X

Currently~
Mood: overload
Music: Stoppin' the Love--KT Tunstall
Video: w/e
Lit: whatever i want~

i don't care if i lose my mind; i'm already cursed

I think i'm almost officially fed up.

I've had--at the VERY least--three hours of homework every night so far this week. And it's not over yet, even though my major assignment is done for health.

I took a chem test this morning that was probably going the smoothest that a chem test has gone this year so far. I was doing very well, and knew just what I was doing... and then the period ended. and he wouldn't let me fucking finish. I had two studies and he wouldn't let anyone finish it!! fuck meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I just... can't get over the work. But I have been working extremely dilligently, which is a first for me... I am really tempted to wander away from my work and do something I want to do, but my will power has impressed even me. It's just the last push, I keep telling myself. Or as Mack said, "One more push..... Ms. Johnson." XD

10 MORE DAYS. WILL SHE MAKE IT?! STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT, MOFOS.

Currently~
Mood: exhaustimagated
Music: Fairytale--Alexander Rybak
Video: n/a
Lit: Robert E. Lee packet. Would be interesting if I didn't have to cram it into two days, coughMS.CROHANcough.

we all look like we feel

Last night was so kickass. And so was Amanda's party, lolol

I helped set up and stuff for a couple hours so I was probaby over there for about... 6 hours? Maybe. I just can't describe how much fun it was. Almost everyone on the guest list showed up and we had cupcake contests and set the tables on fire (LOL) and Ema loved her present from me which makes me soo happy.

Just.... ugh. Too many things to talk about!! (I'll leave it to Em, I suppose.)

All the pics will be on facebook in a couple hours... there are like 150 of them so it might take a bit.

Currently~
Mood: hangover
Music: Just Leave Everything To Me--Hello Dolly
Video: w/e
Lit: Finished Color of Water ;3

will you carry me there one more time?

WEEKEND!!!!

Amanda's partaaaay is in an hour and a half, and Ema's bash is tomorrow night. I'm so BLOODY excited.

I saw the cakes she baked today after dance. There are six.

She's currently busy making six big mixing bowls of homemeade frosting. I helped mix, and now my fingers taste like confectioner's sugar and butter and vanilla X3

Currently~
Mood: sweet~
Music: So Long Dearie--Barbra Streisand
Video: w/e
Lit: Shojo Beat

i'm in love with a fairy tale

I really just want school to end.

Is that too much to ask?

14 more days....

Currently~
Mood: fed up
Music: Fairytale--Alexander Rybak
Video: w/e
Lit: Shojo Beat

we're going to show you what swing is all about

Yesterday Aunt Sarah, Uncle Peter, Aunt Krista and Uncle Trip were over for a Memorial Day picnic. I read manga and got my first sun burn of the year!!! I think it's officially summer when that happens, so i'm pretty pleased.

Today was just back-to-the-grind. We filmed a bit for our Spanish project and I went shopping with Ema for her Birthday party on Saturday. It will be QUITE the epic shindig.

I have two songs I am now addicted to, and I can't put them both in must-listen, so i'll put them here:
Heck, I'd Go! by Maria Muldaur
and
Swing Set by Jurassic 5

I would TOTALLY live in the 20's and 30's just for the Swing Era. The music and dance back then was so much better than any of this mosh-pit hip-hop stuff we have now... not that it's terrible, but it's just... not as great. :3

GOD. I just want to rock out to Swing Set. Seriously. I was jammin like a fool in Home Goods with Ema. It's just soooooo catchy.

Currently~
Mood: SWANG IT BABAY
Music: Heck, I'd Go!--Maria Muldaur
Video: n/a
Lit: Color of Water

listen as the crowd would sing, long live the king

MORE CON STUFF.

Saturday we went in around 4:00 cause Ema had to get out of dance, and the first thing we did was go to the Hetalia Axis Powers Panel, which was so much fun!! It was hosted by Denmark, Sweden, Finland, Austria, and Prussia, and they fielded questions from the floor (incuding mine!) and had a trivia game against America, Lithuania, Spain and Korea. It was really very cute.

Ema and I wandered around for the rest of the day and around the Artists' Alley, and I bought a really cool steampunk necklace with a little gearpiece and a guage on it.

Today we were all super-duper tired before we even set out (which was early, around 10) so when the train was 45 MNUTES LATE, we were all a little irritable. But we spent basically the entire day in the dealer's room, which we didn't go in many of the other days, and I bought two volumes of Ouran Host Club (by Bisco Hatori, aka AWESOME), and volume of Captive Hearts by Matsuri Hino and a volume of Noey Hunt y Miki Aihara (got all that?? lol). I also bought one of those little solar-powered bobble-head guys, and his name is Sunny Yellow and he's a Nohohon Zoku. He's sitting on my windowsill right now, enjoying the non-natural light from my bedside lamp. X3

We never ended up finding Squall again (CRY) but we did see Lizzy and Renge again, and I saw Bella (aka Madeleine) from drawing class (same one as Reggie and Nathan) and Jon Lavalley, who GRADUATED LAST WEEK, CRYYY. So he's off to New York, best of luck to you Jon, we'll miss you~!!!

All in all, an incredibly satisfying weekend. I only wish I had bought more candy, but I was on a loan budget. ;_;

Next year, Emily and I are going as Austria and America (respectively) from Axis Powers Hetalia. Apparently Ema is sexy with her hair slicked back. Although, Sunday I will go in pajama pants and a sweater... cosplayng was just too much of a pain today, and my hair was not behaving. Oh well.

BED NOW. RELATIVES COMING TOMORROW FOR A PICNIC. GOODNIGHT.

Currently~
Mood: content
Music: Viva La Vida--Coldplay
Video: w/e
Lit: Ouran Host Club vol. 6--Bisco Hatori

somethin about him i can't push aside

Oh. My. God. Yesterday was the first day of Anime Boston!!!!

I had. THE BEST TIME. As Demyx. He's so much fun to cosplay, I can't even get over it. Ema did my hair, and it looked fanTASTIC. And the line was 2 MINUTES LONG!! As opposed to eight HOURS, last year!!!

We met up with Molly from Showa, and a bunch of other Showa kids who were very fun. And Sarah and Julia came a little later. Ema was dressed up as Madame Red from Kuroshitsuji, and she looked amazing in her six-inch heels~~

I bought a Demyx T-shirt from an America and England (from Hetalia) who I know from Youtube, and it was so cool to see them XDD

I also met another America outside the Artist Alley, and she was sooo funny!! We compared leather jackets (hers was real, and thus much hotter in the 90 degree weather) and she had an american flag and fatigued that were from a company called ANARCHY (irony, lol!)

She was so nice, and I hope we see more Hetalia people at the PANEL tonight!!! (I'm dying, i'm so excited.)

OOOOOH. I also saw REGGIE!!! And Nathan, but he's less exciting. XD And I hope I see them again tomorrow~! And we also met a Squall (Final Fantasy) in line at Ben&Gerry's who we sincerely hope to meet again :3 He was the nicest guy.

I'M LITERALLY DYING. LIKE, REEEALLY. MORE UPDATES TOMORROW!!!

Currently~
Mood: JGHDKGDSKGASGBKHDKB
Music: Right Love, Wrong Time--Anuhea
Video: MARLY'S Video Con Raven--xPenguFilmsx
Lit: The Color of Water

take back the city for yourself tonight

Grandpa's here and my cold's wearing off and MCAS is over!!

I lied, Grandpa came today.

Today was pretty awesomesauce. But of course, nothing is that easy, so I've got a spanish project to worry about now and an English project that Mr. D gave us for friday. It's not of any pressing worry, but I don't know... it's clawing at the very back of my mind.

I need some major zen, man. I need to unwiiiiind. Only like 20 SOMETHING DAYS LEFT OF SCHOOL. Including exams. I'm so cloooooose, I can taste it~~

Currently~
Mood: cruisin' toward a brick wall, man~
Music: Take Back the City--Snow Patrol
Video: stuff, news
Lit: Color of Water--James McBride (good book!!)

oh i should've said so long so long ago

I haven't been up to doing anything lately.

Sunday was dance picture, which was okay, and I spent a large part of the day writing an essay for English which I wasn't entirely happy with but W/E.

Monday I felt like shit, cause I had a sore throat that was so bad I couldn't speak the whole day. It was raw and gross and I felt awful the whole day.

But today I woke up with no sore throat, but a stuffy nose. Which I can deal with. And today we had math MCAS, so I only had chem and Art to deal with. Which was nice. And it was MAD easy. so.

Minimal stress at the moment, which is nice, but I know there's more to come, with finals only TWO WEEKS AWAY.

AAAND, grandpa comes Friday, and Ema and I are riding in to Anime Boston to get our passes!!! I'm suuuper excited.

Currently~
Mood: peppy
Music: It Only Takes A Moment--Michael Crawford
Video: hetalia fan vid
Lit: Color of Water

the party's crashing us now

So lastnight I went with Ema and her dad & bro to Lord of the Dance. It was hands-down the best dance performance i've ever seen. The tap dancing was unreal.

We ate in Chinatown and had a grand old time.

BUT. I'm the stupidest person ever. I'm totally pathetic.

I wore high heels. Worst decision OF MY LIFE.

I now have a blister on my left foot that's so huge I can't even walk properly, and another one on my right that's got me doing a double-limp-thing.

I feel like the dumbest girl on the face of the planet.

BUTTT. Abba and Manda are coming over for the cookie party we've been planning for months, FINALLY <3 It'll help me stop thinking about my fucking feet....

Currently~
Mood: paaaaaiiin
Music: I was Never Young--Of Montreal
Video: Russell Brand--Shame
Lit: Color of Water

and we loved with a love that was more than love

Today was visual vocab day and i'm completely exhausted.

I was a CPR dummy because my word was "resuscitate," and almost nobody got it.

I woke up at about 5:30 this morning to find pantyhose for my arms and legs, then drew ball joints onto my elbows and knees. I also wore a t-shirt showing the instructions for CPR. I thought it was pretty cool personally, but the pantyhose were over my fingers (to look like plastic doll hands) so I couldn't write until fourth period.

It was also veeeeery hard to focus in classes. Most of the history lecture on the Monroe Doctrine flew right over my head, and all this stuff about Algebra graphs is kinda fuzzy.

I also have a Chem test tomorrow which I don't exactly feel prepared for...

Currently~
Mood: well, depressed, now...
Music: Upside-Down--Jack Johnson
Video: w/e
Lit: ugh. idk anymore

on that starry night, lost my sense of time

This morning I woke up with such intense pain in my lower back that I could barely get out of bed. I almost cried, it hurt so badly.

I'm better now, though. I think it was partly my left hip and partly the lack of streching in lyrical on Friday.

I had a bunch of work today.... it kills me that this is the one time of the year I really need to give school a ton of effort and its the one time of the year that I reeeeeeeally don't want to.

But Ema and I are having a blast with Rush Complex. I missed alot of Algebra today cause I was drawing. I won't do that again... this sine wave stuff is mad confusing if you zone out. DX

Mrrrrr... I've got a case of the mondays. (But dance was fun~)

Currently~
Mood: laaaazyyy
Music: Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Games--Of Montreal
Video: w/e
Lit: w/e...

GO NAGAI, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

The show went well this morning. The place was packed.

and I got to see Vic and Eddie for about... a half an hour before they go back to Fwaaance.

I should be doing my brochure for health, but I can't find the formatter on Word. Sooooooooo i'm browsing fanart on livejournal and tegaki.

I kinda wish we'd presented our photo journals in photo class... mine was pretty good.

OMG EMA-CHAN IS CONSTUME SHOPPING! Everyone wish on a star for her, rub your bunnies' feet, she needs it!

Currently~
Mood: ho hum
Music: Publish My Love--Rogue Wave//What if it was a tiger?--Dave and Joel
Video: youtube shet
Lit: Oedipus... poo

so close together, and when i'm with you...

Omg, kinda epic.

After dance (our lyrical costumes are AMAAAAZING) Ema and I got ice cream and walked back to her house and watch Millionaire Matchmaker!! The first one with a gay guy, ever! XDD

So now Mom & Dad are at Wayne and Loewy's for dinner and Ema, Sarah and I are sitting here watching Enchanted and painting nails. It is much fun!

I don't really have any homework, but I have like three projects.... mrrr.

Final Exhibition for photo class tomorrow!! GAAH, so excited.

Currently~
Mood: uhhhm, AWESOME
Music: So Close--Ron McGaughlin
Video: Enchanted
Lit: Oedipus Rex

my heart is sturdy, but it needs you

Tody was kinda cool.

A little boring and tiring, but finishing my homework and reading Frederick Douglass did wonders for putting my stress in perspective and relieving my mood.

I wanna draw and write some Rush Complex, and eat something before i die.

Tomorrow's Friday!! Though I have all my classes.....

I got my first choice for Visual Vocab day!! SCORE.

Currently~
Mood: chipper
Music: Someone Like You--SafetySuit
Video: n/a
Lit: Fred. Douglass and Oedipus. The depression parade continues.

higher now than ever before

Today was supposed to be really cool... I had only three classes, no homework in them, and then art and two studies. I just sat down in Chemistry and all I could think was damn... i am miserable, and I don't know why.

I dunno. I spent a couple periods working on my painting in art, and then spent a study in the caf with Frau Ruggaber reading my ShojoBeat... and writer's club was fun.

I just wanna be happy, and the stress and the sheer amount I have to think about it not letting me. It's pretty frustrating.

Currently~
Mood: thwarted
Music: Primavera Anticipada--Laura Pausini & James Blunt
Video: Scrubs~
Lit: like three books at once. DX

you're a stranger to me; you're a danger to me

Is it at all fair to tell you that I honestly just completely forgot about my blog until just now?

The past four days have been SO. HECTIC. Basically I've been doing work since Saturday morning. I did homework all that day, most of the day Sunday, and Monday I went to the Showa campus to see what Japan camp would be like and then it was peek week at dance and I had alot of homework.

*screams a little*

I really, truly, honestly hate this part of the year. Hate it. With teachers cramming stuff in, finals to study for, and ON TOP OF ALL THAT THE BLOODY DANCE CONCERT, which I am seriously not looking forward to this year... I'm starting to lose my mind a little. I was so overtired in study today I got into hysterics over nothing.

And the worst of it is that of all times of the year, I just happen to have an enormous amount of stuff I want to do aside from school stuff right now. Ema and I had a brainstorm on the way back from Showa about Rush Complex, and I'm all riled up to start writing again, which I NEED to do...

and it's not like I can just write this anytime. It sounds silly but I honestly need inspiration to write this stuff. I want it to be the very very best it can be, and that takes drive, which I don't normally have. And now that I DO have it, I CAN'T WRITE. *screams*

The next couple of weeks are going to be harebrained. Forgive me if I miss a few days here and there... I've got so much on my mind i've had to resort to lists... they're everywhere. I've got like four. WTF MAN.

Currently~
Mood: tornado
Music: You Spin Me Right Round--Dead or Alive
Video: news
Lit: Oedipus Rex

i can't explain what made me change

Today's school was alright-- I had all my classes, but in Chemistry we made ice cream. Abby Amanda and I all shared ours, which was more the consistency of buttermilk than ice cream. But we put in sprinkles and chocolate chips and whipped cream and it was yummy.

After dance class I went over to the store, and then hung out at the Gallery 55 NHS honors art students art show opening with Jon, Bryan, Maisie, KT, and some other peeps. We had a crazy rave in the honey farms parking lot. Betch.

I have photo class tomorrow, and i'm so tired I can't see straight. Beeeeeeeeeeddddd.

Currently~
Mood: hirarious
Music: Love Your Way--Powderfinger
Video: West Side Story
Lit: Frederick Douglass

don't fade away; stay for the day, in my town

Today was alright. I got sat on at lunch while trying to sunbathe, and we played Spoons in Writer's Circle, for lack of better things to do.

I'm going to update the RC blog as soon as i'm done with this post, so check that out please~!

I'm going to the NHS Honors Art opening at Gallery 55 on Friday! I'm kinda excited to see all the pieces that I haven't seen around yet.

Also, I've temporarily (maybe) settled on Goodnight Goodnight by Maroon 5 for Kazuya's theme song, just because it's such a good song it gives me chills sometimes. We have so much Maroon 5 in our RC soundtrack, lol.

Umm...... can't think of much else. So, Ciao~

Currently~
Mood: productive
Music: Goodnight Goodnight--Maroon 5 <33
Video: Random youtube stuff~
Lit: fanfic

rain is fallin; steal some covers, share some skin

ANOTHER TOTALLY BLAAAAAH DAY.

They're making both "Where the Wild Things Are" and "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs" into movies. I ASK YOU. I feel my childhood being violated as we speak.

I'm having a tough time finding a theme song for Kazuya. There's a Maroon 5 one that kinda sorta works, but we've already used them so much... and there's a SafetySuit one that also kinda works, but the music isn't good as a whole and doesn't really fit his personality.

I think i'll update the playlist on the RC blog when I figure it out...

Currently~
Mood: mooshy
Music: Woman--Maroon 5
Video: Hetalia ep. 14 [subbed]
Lit: fanficsssssss

would you be my american boy?

Sat around all. day. yesterday. It was quite brilliant after a week of RUNRUNWALKKJAFDGHD

Today was back to school. Just the usual. Nothing really amazing.

idk. i'm just... blaaaaaagh

Jazz costumes kinda kick ass. teal blue flapper shirts, ftw~

Currently~
Mood: not enough hours in the day
Music: Don't Cry Out--Shiny Toy Guns
Video: Hetalia ep. 14 [raw] ...D:
Lit: nm... Silas Marner

10, 9, 8, 7, breaking away~

Photo class was a tired drag today, since alot of kids weren't there (like Selena, Eric, Eddie, Jacob, etc.) but I did get two prints done for the show!! I hope i'll have at least one more before the class ends.

Also, the indian tea I bought at the indian museum is soooo yummy~

Saw I Love You, Man with Ema today!! It was hilarious. It was... ugh, just so funny.

Then we hung at the mall with Mitchell. Good times....

I think if anyone wakes me up early tomorrow i'll be forced to mutilate them.

Currently~
Mood: sleeeeeeeep
Music: American Boy--Estelle feat. Kanye West
Video: Hetalia ep. 13
Lit: OH MAN!! Silas Marner. Fuck.

just say it again and mean it

tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiredddd

embroidery-floss bracelet count thus far: 12

i think it's a dangerous addiction.

Currently~
Mood: zzzzzzzzz
Music: PRASHUU, PRASHUU, PRA~~SHUUUUU~~
Video: zzzzzzzzz
Lit: zzzzzzzzzz

we just like to party, like to pa-pa-party yeah

Today we went and got Starbucks (wonderful way to start the day) and sauntered off to the American History Museum. We saw cool stuff like the Ruby Slippers and Julia Child's Kitchen and Seinfeld's puffy shirt and the First Ladies' dresses.

We were going to go to the Beareau of Engraving and Printing, where they make money, but the tour tickets were sold out. So instead, the Little's rode on the carousel on the mall and we had chili dogs for lunch and came home.

Last day in Washington! 3: It's bittersweet, and I have a weird feeling that I didn't do all I wanted to, even though I know in my head that I did. I got a pyramid-studded belt, and the Littles got their FBI sweaters. I'm just so supremely satisfied with my Robert Frank book, I don't mind feeling deprived at all. *hugs it*

Man, I still have to read MOST of Silas Marner and all of another book for english and history, and all I have is the car ride tomorrow (which I know won't happen, with Ema and embroidery floss to distract me) and then the weekend. I'm gonna have to do some crazy reading.

Currently~
Mood: sore...
Music: Oh My God--Kaiser Chiefs
Video: n/a
Lit: The Americans: Looking In--Robert Frank

take me on a trip, i'd like to go someday

Yesterday was spent on a Capitol tour, which was way cool, and we then went to the Library of Congress, which is just a gorgeous building.

Then the Botanic Gardens, where I got some super awesome photo-geek macro images of cool flowers.

Then lunch at the Native American Museum, which was the best lunch so far in D.C. (enchiladas and fry bread~) and in one of the most beautiful buildings yet... we also went into the Universes Exhibit, where we saw a cool blown-glass crow and a moon which was pretty.

Then the Air&Space museum, for five minutes, since we decided to watch an imax movie on black holes to rest our feet and by the time we came out the museum was closing.

Then we met the Brewsters at Union Station for dinner, and we brought Ema home from there, so she's here now doing the Little's nails while I type.

TODAY. While dad and the Littles went back to Air&Space, Mom, Ema and I went to the National Gallery of Art, which was beautiful. The Robert Frank photography exhibit was unbelieveably good, and I think inspired and affected me in a way i'll be feeling the repercussions of for a while. I bought the book of the exhibition, called The Americans: Looking In. It's a beautiful book.

Then we had lunch in their cafe (pizza, salad and a cannoli... so yummy) and went off to the Spy Museum, which the Little's had been waiting to go to for the whole week. It was quite intriguing actually, if a little cheesily overdone in the beginning.

I took on a spy persona that they told us to memorize (like I said, a bit overdone. they briefed us in the elevator.) and I still remember the whole profile. I was Greta Schmidt, a 33-year-old astronomer from Germany, burn in Bornsteadt, Germany and heading to London, England for four days on business. :3

Oh man, and today was my dad's birthday! He doesn't want ANYTHING. We keep asking and asking, and he's giving us these annoyingly enigmatic answers. such as, "eh." etc. Sarah and I are planning to get him a joint-gift of Quantum of Solace and Get Smart DVD's.

They're trying to convince me to wear nail polish, and I will never budge on the issue. I will NEVER. look good in nail polish. I was not made to be girly.

Currently~
Mood: grumpy
Music: American Boy--Estelle
Video: Alex Mckee stuff
Lit: The Americans: Looking In--Robert Frank

and if i had one wish, yeah you'd be it

It's late, and i'm just posting quickly.

We spent our entire day today in the Museum of Natural History, and it was amazing. So many cool things to see... and we got to solve a forensics case!

We parked next to the Brewsters in the parking garage, totally by accident! It was hilarious!! Then we saw them in the oceans exhibit. We're picking Ema up after lunch tomorrow!!

So tired.... I get to sleep in tomorrow! zzzzzzzz

Currently~
Mood: sleeeeeeep
Music: I'm About to Come Alive--Train
Video: n/a
Lit: hetalia fics

get out of my way, and out of my brain

Today was so tiring.

We went to the White House, and we got on the grounds for a garden tour... we got only a few feet from the front door!!

And we saw the capital, the Washongton Monument, the Reflecting Pool, the Vietnam and WWII memorials.... it was quite amazing.

My feet hurt quite a bit, because for some reason Judy and mom had to keep a breakneck pace, as if their pants were on fire.

We're watching Big Fat Greek Wedding, and I can't wait to sleep.

Currently~
Mood: goofy
Music: Now That We're Done--Metro Station
Video: My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Lit: Silas Marner

i'm never speaking up again, starting now

WIIIIIIFIIIIIII.

Lots of driving today. I think I hurt my leg trying to sleep in the back seat.

Judy and Rich's house is big & beautiful. I'm sleeping in the basement.

Jessica and Sarah kept me entertained. I almost choked to death (no kidding here) laughing at them playing WAR.

I'm exhausted. Lots of walking tomorrow.

Currently~
Mood: goofed out
Music: Ego Tripping at the Gates of Hell--Flaming Lips
Video: My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Lit: Silas Marner

you turn me into someone i would rather be

Today I had two tests, but once those were done I spent two periods in art finishing my collage and starting the next project. Also got to hang with Jesse and Jordan in last period study :3

I got my hair cut!!! It looks alot like the pic I posted last night, but the bangs are a bit shorter and kindof sweep to the left. It's so cute, and the first time i've ever had hair that doesn't move when I shake my head XDD

Tonight I have to pack for WASHINGTON!! I can't wait to get on the road~~!!

*jumps around*

I'll be posting on the road if I can't find WiFi, which is pretty likely. My posts will be super short mobile posts, but I'll hopefully be loyal to doing one each day. Maybe with pictures, if I can figure out how :3 So look forward to that!

Currently~
Mood: pumped
Music: Meet Virginia--Train
Video: Skeleton Boy--Friendly Fires (ema--listen to this. up there ^)
Lit: Silas Marner

Testing out the mobile posting :3

currently~
watching hetalia!

oh yoshimiii~~

Man, i've been bad at posting lately.

Yesterday.......... i don't know what happened yesterday. It wasn't great, whatever it was.

BUTBUTBUT. New BLONDE AMBITION yesterday!!! I'm sooooo pumped, it was amaaaaaaazing!! It totally blew my mind, man!! I can't say anything for those who haven't read it yet but OMGGG. Fricking read it. nowwwwww.

Anyway... today was kind of another gung-ho workworkwork day. I had a history quiz, a ton of homework, and a chem test tomorrow... but after the test I'm homefree! I'll get to finish my Dylan Moran collage in art and then I have two studies to finish the sketchbook assignments i've been flaking out on.... @_@

I'm going to get a haircut tomorrow~~! It's finally going to get out of my eyes! I'm thinking about this kind of style:

I like how it's spiky, and more pixie-ish than my current style (which looks like some frumpy skater boy who just wears a hat all the time). I can't wait to have short bangs that I don't have to worry about tossing to the side~~~

It'll be awesome. I'll post pictures!

2 DAYS UNTIL DC!!! HEEELLL YESSSS!!!

Currently~
Mood: sprightly
Music: Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, pt. 1--The Flaming Lips
Video: Skeleton Boy--Friendly Fires (Look up this vid! it's also my must-listen this week)
Lit: Green Lantern--Emerald Dawn

stayin' up all night just to write a love song

Again, just didn't post last night cause I was tired and didn't feel like staying up to do it.

Today was kind of a long day, ut it also went by pretty fast. I got a giant pocky from Katie, which was yummy... and I just spent like four hours doing homework. @_@

But a big part of it was creative writing, so it's okay.

I had to write a story about me, Joy, Tiffany and Emily Cheung as super heroes. I could manipulate time, Tiff could breathe under water and talk to marine life, Joy could fly, and Emily could be invisible.

We're reading Green Lantern Emerald Dawn for English now, to learn bildungsroman, and we discussed the classic question "what power would you have if you could have a super-power?" It actually got me thinking on the topic pretty extensively. Initially, I thought emotion manipulation, like Jasper from Twilight (lol). But the more I think about it, the more I think time powers would be The BEST.

It's like, "Not enough hours in the day?" Lol, K! No probs foo'. ;3

Whatever. I think I would adore having time powers. it would be rockin'.

UMMUM. I think that's it.

OH, wait. Hetalia Axis Powers is eating MY LIFE. I'm browsing the livejournal comminuty archives like some poor fool with no life and nothing better to do. America/England is a beautiful beautiful thing.

That's really it.

w/e, maaaaaaan~

Currently~
Mood: sleepy
Music: Birds Fly Away--Theresa Andersson
Video: MENTALISSST
Lit: Green Lantern--Emerald Dawn

you are the reason that i breathe, that i still believe

Friday was a sick day. Sat around and watched movies and read Hetalia fanfiction, and watched Ferris Beuler with dad.

Then yesterday I went to photo class and developed another one of my photos. It came out really good. Then we picked up Steve and Sue and Cece from the airport, and drove down to Connecticut for Easter.

Today we had brunch with Grandpa, Uncle Ned, Uncle Pete, Nate, Uncle Trip and Aunt Krista, Grandpa's friend and Kobla.

I'm so tired of being sick... and tired, period. I don't know if I'll survive school tomorrow.

Currently~
Mood: le miserable
Music: Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours--Stevie Wonder
Video: Hetalia episode 8
Lit: Hetalia fanfics :P

and in a naked slumber, i dream all this again

Today was preeeeeetty cool.

I made up my chem quiz-test-thingy, and we didn't have homework in history or algebra. The three-day weekend is coming up next, and I look forward to finally relaxing.

Tomorrow I may be off to Boston, then having the epic cookie party after dance with Abba and Manda. I didn't have enough money at Tilly's to buy another roll of dough, so I bought a can of nonpareils instead. XD

ALSO! New song of the week!! 15 Step by Radiohead.

Check it out, man. It rocks. -------------------->

My throat is so dry I can't talk without coughing. Hopefully I'll take another buttload of Echinacea before bed and kill this thing before tomorrow.

BUT OMG EASTER WEEKEND!! I can't wait to see my grandpa. I've been thinking about him alot lately.

Currently~
Mood: zen-ing
Music: Take Back the City--Snow Patrol
Video: news
Lit: w/e

you just tried too hard and you froze

Today was FFFFFFFAWESOME.

I went out to lunch with Ema and we ate a gross (but DERICIOUS) amount of Lo Mein and Scallion pie. Then we went bak to her house and played sims.

Taylor and Chad Wilson, their boys Shale Jr. and Obsidian, and one of her other character's babies Parfait are our babies, AND WE LOVE THEM SO. <33

Taylor Wilson is the manliest girl girliest man in the history of Sims. That is one frighteningly beautiful Sim.

And what's scarier (after the lingere) is that Shale Jr. and Obsidian look almost exactly like their parents. Even though Obsidian is adopted.

Sims is a beautiful game.

My homework took me until ten minutes ago. I've been working since 5:30. And i'm still not done.

FFFFFFFFF.

Currently~
Mood: ennui
Music: Flightless Bird, American Mouth--Iron & Wine
Video: n/a
Lit: whatever.

and i knew the beat cause it matched your own beat

The field trip today was OFF THE HOOK.

We went to this performance center in Boston (pretty sure it was Berkeley) and there were six dancers, two guitarists and a percussionist who also did this cool dance with rocks tied to the ends of ropes that he spun around really fast in cool patterns.

They did all these amazing dances in different styles from Spain, Portugal, Mexico, Cuba, Brazil, Venezuela, etc etc. And it was unbelieveable.

I'm gonna have alot of work tomorrow since I missed all those classes, but I'm hanging out with Ema downtown so WHO CARES. Half days, yaaaaaaay!

I also thought alot today, on the bus while I was pretending to read Ellen Foster but really thinking about other stuff.

I've realized today that my friend is a very unique person. She is very fun loving and has an incredible sense of humor, but she will also tell you in no uncertain terms when something upsets her or she doesn't like something.

She can be hard to love sometimes, but at others I feel like she's one of the people most special to me in the world. I am truly honored that she's my friend.

She's had more than a few setbacks as far as romance, and though these guys are mostly still her friends and my friends I feel a little bitter toward them. She is frankly too amazing a person to be manipulated or let go so easily.

I really and truly hope with all my heart that she finds someone who will love and appreciate all of who she is. I know I do, and I hope someday a man can see in her what I do.

(This isn't meant to be gay or anything, haha.)

/TL;DR. I just really love her alot and hope she finds someone who can share her humor and love with her, someone who will appreciate her the way I do.

This is what happens when you let me think too much. I swear.

I can't believe there aren't any Discovery Downloads on iTunes this week! It's just a video. ;_;

I'm having one of those days where I want to draw or write something but nothing I do comes out right. It's very frustrating.

Currently~
Mood: sweet-tooth-ish
Music: Engines--Snow Patrol <333
Video: It's The Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown!
Lit: Shojo Beat Magazine

just never think. just hold on.

Today was pretty cool. I can't remember much of what happened, maybe because it was all workworkwork.

I did learn that wearing cotton collared shirts in the cold rain is a surefire way to get the chills.

Tomorrow is the spanish field trip!! Abby and Mack and I will have so much fun. (Not Elliott, cause his memory's like a goldfish's and he didn't make the narrow window of time for turning in the permission slip.)

Also, today I found out that a friend of mine is indulging in habits he shouldn't, and I almost made myself sick with worry after I found out. Do I shoulder other people's problems too much?

I act like I don't really care, but i've been "the therapist" among my friends since fourth grade. It's just what I do. I don't know.... I thought maybe I should stay out of it, it's his business, but in the end I chickened out and asked.

Does this make me nosy?

Rhetorical question.

I have to go make up my discussion for english one-on-one with Mr. D tomorrow after school... and i'm actually nervous. It's weird.

Currently~
Mood: tepid
Music: Eyes on Fire--Blue Foundation
Video: n/a
Lit: Ellen Foster--Kaye Gibbons

how did we get here? i used to know you so well...

Today was mom's birthday. She really liked the tea steeper I got her, although it wasn't what I had planned to get her.

I basically just sat around and did stuff I needed to do. I did a sketchbook assignment (mostly) and my homework and some research on steampunk, which I think might be the setting for my NaNoWriMo this year. I'm superexcited and hope I don't lose my steam (pun definitely not intended).

Tomorrow's Monday. That's scary. But the spanish field trip is Tuesday, we have a half-day Wednesday, and then we have Friday off. Whee!

Hope I got good grades this term.

Now i'm off to do laundry and then hopefully get to bed early (though it's doubtful... my mind is spinning with ideas for my WriMo).

Currently~
Mood: creative
Music: Bella's Lullaby--Carter Burwell (really, so so beautiful!!)
Video: n/a
Lit: Ellen Foster--Kaye Gibbons

oh i tremble for my love, always

Yesterday was insane.

I had a history test, which I might've done mediocre on, and then I had to run over to dance.

After dance class, I flew off to the talent show. I was surprisingly un-nervous until the second I got on stage. When Tiffany played the first note, which I was supposed to sing on, I forgot. every. lyric. in the song.

Thankfully I picked it back up, and was shaking like a leaf the entire performance, but according to mom I did well. I feel like I didn't do nearly as well as I could have, but good enough to live with.

Then I ran off to Kate's party, which was unbelieveable. She looked gorgeous in a floor-length pink strapless dress, and Emily looked amazing in her black, white and red cocktail dress. Almost half our freaking class was there (well not really, but you know) and it was so hot.

I danced with all my friends, including Olivia and Ari, who I hadn't talked to in forever. Also slow danced with Mack (to Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer, b'aww) and I'm never letting him forget it. XD

He looked heavily drugged the entire time. It was quite funny.

Tomfoolery and faggotry galore! It was fantastic, and I danced so hard I think I re-damaged my knees. So worth it.

So when I woke up this morning I flew off to photo class, where we started the printing process. I only got one good final print out of the whole three-some-odd hours, but it was a good one. I'll keep working on my piano shot next class.

And poor Jacob had to miss the bus because he'd forgotten that he'd shaved off half his moustache the night before to play a joke on his friend until he got to the bus stop this morning. He had Kelsey, Selena and I in tears telling us about it.

When I came home, I got to see Uncle Steve, Aunt Sue and cousin Shee-shee for a couple hours before they flew off to Florida to Nationals! Cece is gonna win big, man!! Gold medals will be hanging off her neck when she comes back through!

I just watched Jerry Maguire with the fam, and it's such an adorable movie. The little kid, Ray, is the cutest thing EVER. And I feel my chick-flick existence has come full-circle now that I've seen that "you complete me" line. I was mouthing her line when she told him to shut up, and my mom laughed at me.

I'm going to go collapse in a heap now. I need a proper sleep, for the first time in a few weeks.

Currently~
Mood: romantic
Music: Never Think--Rob Pattinson
Video: Pablo Francisco--Bits and Pieces
Lit: Ellen Foster--Kaye Gibbons

the fire, it cracks and barks like primal music

MCAS is FINALLY over.

I'm relaxing listening to Snow Patrol, but I know I should be studying for history... tomorrow is going to be chaos.

I have a history test fifth period, then after school I have dance, then I have to go pretty early to the high school to practice for the talent show with Tiffany and Rebecca, then the talent show starts at 7, then I finish up there and I go over to Kate's bash.

Saturday i've got photo class (printing day!!!) then a cookie party at Abba's that may or may not happen, depending on whether or not she can get David out of the house.

Frankly, my stomach is churning just at the thought of it. Today seemed tranquil compared to what I have to face tomorrow.

I'm terrified of screwing up lyrics during my song in the talent show. I almost did in every run I did today after school today with Tiffany. I caught myself almost every time, but i'm not confident in my ability to do that on stage tomorrow, with nerves and all.

I just wanna keep swimming in Snow Patrol. They're so calming...

Currently~
Mood: anxious
Music: The Lightning Strike--Snow Patrol
Video: Bones!!
Lit: Ellen Foster--Kaye Gibbons

i watched our legs dangle, her yellow hair

Utterly exhausted.

How did I know Sanford would give us homework? I'm magic.

Don't know if i'm up for tomorrow.

I've noticed I love the name Audrey. I don't know why.

Dave and Joel... those guys just love their 24-style sodomy, don't they? Yes, they do.

Currently~
Mood: tipsy
Music: Lifeboats--Snow Patrol
Video: Little Britain!
Lit: I Am the Messenger--Markus Zusak

say it with me, go 'we were born for this'

Today was the long-comp test. I'm actually kinda nervous that I didn't read over it and revise enough, but by the second time reading it, my brain was literally shut down. I wasn't processing the words anymore.

Health class was interesting (I got at 97 on the test), and I got to spend my last period study with Alexis and Kelsey talking about heavy stuff, like religion and stuff. It was cool though.

I don't much like the idea of doing it all again tomorrow. But I suppose it's better than classes... maybe.

Chem is one of my two classes tomorrow. I'll bet my one good kneecap that he'll give us at least an hour of homework.

Also, this history test thing on Friday is making me have a nervy b. Why is she giving us this when we BARELY finished going over the questions on Monday??!

Looooserss.

WHOA, talent show practice tomorrow. Yikers.

Currently~
Mood: wtf/e
Music: Let the Flames Begin--Paramore
Video: Russell Brand--Shame
Lit: Twilight, the movie companion--Mark Cotta Vaz (bored)

if only time flew like a dove

Almost forgot this. again.

Mondaaaaay. Bloody exhausted, as usual...

I think my MCAS long-comp is tomorrow. Kill meeeeeeeeeeee.

Although, it does take up the first 4 periods, and all I have afterwards is Health and a study. *half-hearted dancing*

I'm trying to rock out to Paramore while simultaneously trying not to collapse into a lifeless heap on the floor.

I suck at multi-tasking.

_{Screaming, Hallelujaaaaaaaaahh!! We'll make this last foreveeeerrr~!!}

Currently~
Mood: betwixt
Music: Hallelujah--Paramore <33333
Video: Shame--Russell Brand
Lit: I Am the Messenger--Markus Zusak

we scream, halleluja

O. M. G.

New chapter of Another Life.

You might not hear from me for another few days, hahaha.

I'm almost in happy tears. It's been five bloody months.

ANYWAY. Sat around and ate food that's less than good for me pretty much all day. Also CONQUERED chem homework with Ema.

I'm so tired. Tomorrow will be hard.

Currently~
Mood: paramore. im a girl in a boy band, screaming my lungs out
Music: Ungodly Hour--The Fray
Video: n/a
Lit: ANOTHER LIFE~!! Aaaaah

a fresh new place to play

Forgot to post last night.

Katie White stayed, so when we got home from Crazy Jayne's we watched Twilight and I went to bed.

Today in photo class we experimented with contact printing with our negatives from last week. Alot of my photos came out sooooo good. I did a few contact sheets with my negatives, then did some other stuff with the ight sensitive paper.

Next week's gonna be a full printing day. I can't waaaaiit~

Oh my gosh, Dave and Joel's Fast Karate cracks me up. Dave does awesome voices.

I think I need to start watching 24, just to get their jokes. XD

New weekly song!! It's so white-girl of me, I know, but Fort Minor's music is amazing~~

Currently~
Mood: artsy
Music: Dave and Joel's Fast Karate--FIRST GENTLEMAN ANGRY!!
Video: n/a
Lit: I Am the Messenger--Markus Zusak

its all because you're always on my mind

I'm doing my entry now cause Blogger is scheduled for an outage in an hour.

Today was also pretty good. I got to have lunch with Kevin~~ and all that negative voodoo worked! I got an 83 on my chem test!! (That's pretty much my best test grade all year.)

And all I really have to do tomorrow is turn in my Ordinary People essay and take a health test. Which i'm assuming won't be bad, since I actually pay attention in class and pretty much know my stuff.

...Ms. Parino, my comm sem teacher, has taken a leave of absence that she didn't warn us about. Supposedly she's not coming back for the rest of the year. And frankly, our new comm sem teacher is a bitch. She yelled at Evelyn to shut up. We were all sort of in shock, since it was Taylor who was being an a-hole.

WTF ever man.

I'm having so much fun on my photography account on dA. (link on the side. please go visit.) There are so many amazing photographers out there. I feel like i'm fav-ing everything that comes through my inbox. XD

Tiffany and Rebecca invited me to sing with them in the talent show next Friday! We're doing The Call by Regina Spektor. Tiff is playing piano, and Rebecca is dancing. It's such a pretty song, but i'm alREADY nervous. god, I think it's a disease or something.

MUSIC IS MY LIFE, MAAAN. WHADDO YOU WANT ME TO DOO?

Currently~
Mood: mellow ("why is he harshing our dream mellow? dude, why?")
Music: Love Me Do--The Beatles
Video: n/a
Lit: I Am The Messenger--Markus Zusak

you spin me right round, like a record baby

Today was way cool!!

I think I did well on the chem test. Although, whenever I think I did well I do TERRIBLE. So, let the record show that I did terrible!! I didn't know anything! Waaaaaaah~ etc etc.

And I got to spend lunch working on my Dylan Moran collage... his hair (or, the small unkempt creature nesting on his head) is coming along fairly well, all things considered. Though i'll never get it done in time... ;__;

And I had a study with my lil freshman friends Jesse and Jordan... they're so funny. Jesse's a cancer survivor and uses her baldness to make people feel like they've hurt her feelings, just to mess with 'em... she cracks me up. XD

Jesse's a jewelry maniac, like me. She has two celtic knots, a claddagh ring (jealousyyy) and one of those rope bracelets you're not supposed to take off.

Supposedly, i'm doing almost nothing tomorrow, even though i've got all my classes... hum.

Currently~
Mood: jamm'n
Music: Believe Me--Fort Minor
Video: Russell Brand--Doing Life Live
Lit: I Am the Messenger--Markus Zusak

is this all we get, to be absolute?

Spent aaaaaall afternoon setting this up: [link]

Today was awesome. I had cake in Emily's algebra class during my study (happy birthday Lizzy!!) and got to paint part of the mural in Dr. Gekyll's class room during Latin club. I'm going on Tuesdays now to help out so we can get it done.

Ho hum pig's bum!

Currently~
Mood: tired
Music: The Fray--Enough For Now
Video: The Mentalist
Lit: nothin

my blood is made of ocean waves

New song of the week. ---------------------->

Deleted last night's entry. Sorry for any turmoil it caused anyone.

Today was pretty good, and tomorrow will be better. Cake party in Algebra!

The Fray's new album (aptly named, The Fray) is unbelieveably amazing. It's just soooo... ugh. I see myself listening it to death in the next few days, like I did with the SafetySuit album. It's amazing~~~

Also, Remember the Name by Fort Minor is an great song to krump-it-out to.

Music is unbelieveable. It's my life, man.

Bryan and Libi got to spend their Senior Skip Day at the Museum 'o' Science. He tortured me all day with texts saying how much fun he was having. D: Poo-faces. I can't wait to be a senior...

hum drum. Better go do my sketchbook assignment.

Currently~
Mood: break-dancing
Music: Absolute--The Fray
Video: n/a
Lit: The Host--Stephenie Meyer

i've got two hands on the sunshine

This morning was my photo class! We spent basically the whole time learning how to develop film and subsequently developing the b&w rolls we took the last two weeks.

I can now dissect a film roll and get it onto a reel and into a canister in total darkness with only a can opener and a pair of scissors.

Eddie and "Master" were working with these super wide negatives and when you held them up to the window you could really see all the pictures. It was really cool, and Eddie was sweet enough to give Jacob and I a peek~

I could see all of the pictures on my own roll in almost perfect clarity, so i'm reeeeeally excited to get it in print next week and see what I shot!!

I somehow avoided doing all of my homework completely, and we went to Kelly's for dinner, watched Boston Legal (they chopped the priest's fingers off! with an axe!) and now Cece, Uncle Steve and Aunt Sue are here.

*break dances*

Currently~
Mood: G
Music: Get Ur Freak On--Missy Elliott
Video: Alex McKee
Lit: not much

let your waves crash down on me and take me away

I just came home from Sarah's birthday party at Roller Kingdom. It was insanity. I actually don't suck at skating per se, but im not very good either.

My history presentation went really well!! Excitement.

My photo class is tomorrow morning, and Cece and Uncle Steve and Aunt sue arrive! I'll never get my english essay done.

Im so tired I can't support the weight of my own head. Good. Night.

Currently~
Mood: sleepyyyy
Music: Decode--Paramore <33
Video: n/a
Lit: The Host--Stephenie Meyer

you're not a day, you're not a day too soon

I had less homework today. Maybe it's winding down for the weekend.

Tomorrow is Sarah's birthday party at Roller Kingdom! I'm probably not roller-skating though, since my bad knee is already bruised and if I fall on it, it will be CATASTROPHIC.

I feel alot better than yesterday. I just had a feeling walking to the bus today, like, "this is gonna be a chill day."

And it sorta was. I think it was partially because of the rain. Somehow rainy days always put me in a good mood.

And the sunset was really pretty, so I took a bunch of pictures with my b&w roll from photo class. I only have nine pictures left, and i'll probably take a few at Sarah's party, since I think I could do something cool with the lighting in there.

(Although I am sorta disappointed--both of the free songs on iTunes are country this week. Poo! Haha.)

I hope this carries over to tomorrow. I forgot how truly wonderful it is to not feel like I did yesterday.

Currently~
Mood: cloud-like
Music: Sleepyhead--Passion Pit
Video: Grey's Anatomy
Lit: whatever's around

i held you dear, you swallowed my fear

I might pull my hair out.

IT JUST WON'T STOP.

I have just as much homework as last night, if not more.

And SOMEONE, whose name I won't mention, *koffmariekoff* distracted me through my ENTIRE fourth period study by making weird faces at me and stealing my book from me, so I have an extra hour tonight that I wasn't planning on having. All I have to say to that is FUCK. Why are you such a pest? I really have to ask. Hasn't anyone ever told you that that ISN'T FUCKING FUNNY?!

Ugh.

And I didn't get to present my history project today, so that will be looming over my head until Friday. Again, FUCK.

I just don't think life likes me right now. I literally haven't been this damn miserable in a while. And I have D.C. in April and Animu Boston in May to look forward to, but I'm just not in the mood. It seems like it'll never end! I feel so drained.

In fact, this whole year has kinda been like this. I hope it won't be worse next year like people say.

Oh god, now i'm depressing myself. I need some advil.

Currently~
Mood: stymied
Music: You Have Been Loved--Sia
Video: n/a
Lit: Nana--Ai Yazawa

but now you've found out that it's a habit that sticks

History project due tomorrow. I'm, as usual, terrified that it's not up to snuff. But i'm always like that, so i'm trying to relax.

My prop is pretty genius.

I think today was my last big ohmygodstresskillmyself day for the week. Since all but one of my projects are due tomorrow, and I have two studies to work on things I haven't quite finished... (i.e. my whole observation journal for Ordinary People... oops).

And I don't think Alexis will be in my fourth period study to distract me. -sigh-

I still feel really anxious though... I think I got myself really worked up yesterday and today about my work load and other obligations... but maybe i'll wake up more relaxed tomorrow.

Although I do have a tendency to go to school nervous that i've forgotten everything.

-deep cleansing breath- Think i'll meditate a while. I need to come back down to earth.

Currently~
Mood: wired
Music: Orgasm Addict--The Buzzcocks
Video: Alex McKee faggotry
Lit: Ordinary People

theres just no medicine for these lies

I am so supremely unrelaxed. I have a history project due on Wed. that i didn't have time to work on tonight. And a book + analyzing journal due for english tomorrow. that I haven't finished.

@^@

I cant describe how much I hate homework.

-pulls hair out-

Currently~
Mood: screaming
Music: Demon Eyes--The Answer
Video: w/e
Lit: Ordinary People (at the speed of light)

whip me, but don't beat me

SO. BIG DAY.

Just as a note, my playlist is temporarily out of order because Ronnie is trying to resize it for me. Bless her heart~

So, i've added a new feature, the Weekly Must-Listen song. Every sunday or monday or so, I will put up a song that I think you have to listen to. This week is Publish My Love by Rogue Wave. The little imeem.com widget is so easy to resize, I did it myself XD and if you put your mouse over the name of the song, it will scroll so you can see the whole thing.

Anyway. My sister had a big dance for Barnill at her school lastnight, so we had four of her friends stay the night. They were singing in the shower when they were washing the gunk off their feet and playing the "haha game" at 1 am, so everyone in my house is tired.

I had Ema over to do work on our history projects, and we got very little done. We were too buzy listening to the Buzzcocks and breaking our brains with DJ Ozma videos.

(NEVER look him up unless you are desperate to immunize yourself against wierd. It is quite literally disturbing beyond all reason.)

So I gave her my down-payment on my Organization jacket, and she'll use it to buy herself a new Zune. The world is beautiful~~

Any sexy male name suggestions?

His picture is here, in black: [link] He will be beautiful, and he needs a sexy name!

When I saved the pic, btw, it was called "MATT." Just in case that helps your brainstorm, Ema~

La dee da~! *frolicks*

Currently~
Mood: giddy
Music: Publish My Love--Rogue Wave
Video: DJ Ozma. God help us all.
Lit: Ordinary People--Judith Guest

and i'll always be just so inviting

I had a weird day...

I didn't wake up until 10, and didn't get out of bed until after 12.

My mom and sister have basically been out since 1:30 so i've just been hanging around doing nothing productive except trying to download that damn Corel Painter trial that keeps making my computer have a heart attack and shut down.

Poor Hal... *pets him*

I just wanna draw on something other than Tegaki. Cause frankly it sucks. I want LAYERS, DAMN IT!

I think the Buzzcocks are making me lose my mind a little.

Currently~
Mood: loopy
Music: Orgasm Addict--The Buzzcocks
Video: Boston Legal
Lit: Ordinary People--Judith Guest

crack the shutters, i wanna bathe you in the light

Had a girl's night out with my mom tonight, since dad's out on his man-date with uncle Chuck and Sarah was at the barnhill game.

We went to the British Beer Company and Barnes&Noble... I could stay in that store for EVER.

Had some fun shooting some of my photo class film in B&N.

I'm tired... kinda half-glad I dont have photo class tomorrow, cause of MassArt's spring break. I can't WAIT to sleep in.

Currently~
Mood: sleepy
Music: Fancy Footwork--Chromeo
Video: Numb3rs
Lit: Nana--Ai Yazawa

cause god, it just feels so... it just feels so good

I think i'm in a weird place right now.

Soemwhere between the utter depression of earlier this week/late last week, and the really awesome art roll that i'm on that I somehow think will only keep going.

Plus, lots of other real life stuff... that's... weirding me out. But, whatever.

Oh, ew. Chem test tomorrow.

My english teacher Mr. D told me something amazing today in a study.

We were coming back from lunch and Tim Arthur was tackling some equally brainless numbskull in the hallway, and they were getting rough or whatever--IN the HALLWaY, take note of this--and poor Ms. Kiridana, with her bird bones, tries to break it up. So Mr. D sees this poor, tiny woman in need of help, and like the amazing gentleman he is, goes over to help.

At this point, Tim makes up some dumbass excuse, like always--"uh, we were hugging"--as if the WHOLE CLASS couldn't see him TACKLING this kid IN THE HALLWAY. So i'm getting pretty pissed just watching this go down, because I already had a class with him today and frankly am tired of his horseshit.

Mr. D comes over to unlock the door for us, and I just say to him, "God, Tim... what a nairdowell."

and he just starts cracking up. And so he says to me, "Molly, you are very funny. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you don't have a sense of humor."

And I don't know why, but that made me so fucking happy! he told me one of his funny stories about that word and compliments me on my vocabulary. And im just sitting there dumbly, trying to think straight, because nobody ever tells me i'm funny. Ever.

anyway, TL;DR. It just made me mondo-ultra happy, thought i'd share.

Currently~
Mood: jammin'
Music: Misery Business--Paramore
Video: n/a
Lit: Ordinary People--Judith Guest

she's not bleeding on the ballroom floor just for the attention

Abba's sister is totally fucking amazing.

They have me in tears right now over her impressions of gay men and girly girls. BAYS AHND SHEZ AHND BAYS AHND LEP GLOOOSS AHND BAYS.

Tomorrow I think I'll wear my knee-hi chucks. We're having cannoli in comm-sem!

It's felt like Friday all. damn. week. This is one of the longest weeks ever!

Currently~
Mood: hysterical
Music: Time to Dance--Panic! At the Disco
Video: [link]
Lit: Ordinary People--Judith Guest

against your rules, against your skin

Got a new icon

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From a meme post on Tegaki from a while back... just wanted a change of pace I guess.

Today was a bit better than yesterday... it's a little warmer and not raining like hell. But I was still grumpy because I stayed up until midnight last night drawing and was wicked tired all day. I almost gave up on sitting through chem and escaped to guidance, but Abba and Marlu were there to cheer me up.

I just feel like.... my standards for myself have gone down lately. I dunno. Like I'm not throwing myself into homework and tests and stuff like I usually do because i've been so utterly discouraged by my progress reports. I just don't feel like its worth it anymore.

And god, my mother. I love her so much, but the last thing I need after finding out i'm barely passing Chem is to come home and have her say "oh, Molly..." like i'm not trying my best. I AM. I know I could go into that whole routine, "you don't know how it feels," but I wont because we both know its bullshit. I just want her to look down on me less. I am trying so damn hard, and just because my test grade doesn't show that doesn't make it less true.

I just feel like it's going to be an incredibly long week, and I dont know if i'm mentally or emotionally ready to deal with that. I feel fragile as glass right now. I almost cried yesterday afternoon, just cause I was so exhausted and didn't want to go to dance. I'm so out of patience for everyone and everything, I hate that i've been tired and snippy with my friends, because by no means do they deserve it.

And it's times like these I find myself going back to old, awful things I used to do... when I was in middle school, I used to think that having a boyfriend would make things like this go away. That having someone with that level of intimacy would make this stuff better. But I can say now that it often doesn't, and that I have to deal with it, for the most part, for myself.

But that's another thing that got me thinking... for some reason i've been thinking about my ex alot lately, not because I want to go back to him or anything, but just wondering why I remember him as a clingy weirdo, which he definitely wasn't. I think it's because my standards are too high. I see all this fairytale romance in movies and literature, but it's not always like that. Even my parents' marriage-- it might not be like that for me. I should just be enjoying them as they are, these little things, because I can't hold myself back from enjoying the boyfriends i'll have before I find that boyfriend.

I dunno. It's just so childish, all of it. I wish I wouldn't think things like that.

I'm also super sorry to Ema today, because I think I made her angry with me. I'm sorry, Ronny, that I couldn't get my book for you and that I made you move your quizzes back. I know with Ms. Bitch you weren't exactly in the mood to deal with that, and i'm sorry... just, whatever I did to piss you off, i'm sorry for it.

I need something, anything good to happen right now. Things i'm usually excited about i'm not anymore. Even my art projects seem like a chore now, and I hate it. It was my baby sister's birthday yesterday and I spent the night in my room doing nothing at all. I am so. damn. spent.

Man. TL;DR. Sorry~~ Ignore my emo whining. I just needed to get some things straight with myself.

Currently~
Mood: impatient
Music: Sleepyhead--Passion Pit
Video: n/a
Lit: Ordinary People--Judith Guest

momo - time alone

getting quiet is always good

in the stillness clarity emerges

in the breath the answers reveal themselves

and in the in-between

there is peace

~Kristen Jongen

kindred soul, cracked spirit... without anything to numb you

So that roleplay thing I tried to get into.... their applications are invitation only. Guess i'm glad I uploaded it wrong, or else I would've had to delete it.

I'm kinda pissed off. Partly because they weren't exactly nice about rejecting me, but mostly because it was a hugeass waste of time and energy.

WHAT. EVER.

Now I wanna draw something that won't be a total failure. Just for the justification. XD

It's been pissing rain and snow and sleet all damn day, and it's quite miserable. I don't much like New England weather, gotta say.

Ugh... ALSO. I was the only one in my chem class to fail that goddamn test (which I thought I did well on, by the way.) I'm only getting a 74 in the class, thank god. Which is good for me, considering it's chem.

I'm just so bloody pissed. How the hell did I do so bad? I only got, like, four questions wrong!! What the FUCK.

-breathes deeply-

Oh, also! I totally forgot about the vocab test I had today, and I didn't study a single thing. So I got like a 95 out of 125... it could've been worse, but it didn't exactly contribute to my already spectacular mood. As you can imagine.

I dunno. I try desperately to be positive, and not let these things get to me, but sometimes there's only so much I can do. I was in a relatively good mood all day too, oddly enough. The whole drawing application thing was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

But, gotta get happy. It's my baby sister's birthday!! She'll be 14 today!! -cuddles her-

...heavy sigh. I need a massive hug.

Currently~
Mood: wilting
Music: The Church of What's Happening Now--Sia
Video: n/a
Lit: Ordinary People--Judith Guest

i will cry, i will love you to the day i die

Today was absolutely dropdead gorgeous. I refuse to believe we're getting three inches of snow tomorrow.

I got to luxuriate in bed this morning and read Ordinary People, and it was beautiful and cool and I had my window open, and since the time was set back I got a whole extra hour. I really really love daylight savings days, when the clock is set back in the spring. For some reason, having more time always puts me in a great mood.

I took the dog for a walk and did some stuff for my dad, but other than that I was on Tegaki all day drawing an entry for a roleplay community...

And then I uploaded it to the wrong section... grrr.

My blog: [link]
The entry I worked on: [link]

I hope they let me in >_<;;

I don't want to go back to school... (Well, not true, I don't want to go back to chem) but this day has made me good-mood-ish, so I'm not so miffed as I usually am of a sunday evening.

Hum hum! Listened to Sia aaaaaaaall day. She's so bloody amazing~

Currently~
Mood: spring~~!!
Music: Sia, Color the Small One
Video: Desperate Housewives
Lit: TPBoD