true lies and passion washing on your shore

I feel bad being passive aggressive, but I can never think of good, strong arguments until the confrontation is over and I've had time to think. So here we go.

My art teacher told me today that the style I used in one of the sketchbook assignments we did (to draw a cartoon version of ourselves) was anime, when it was atually modelled after the Flapjack style of cartoon--much more Cartoon Network.

She then went on to tell me that drawing in the anime style (the style which I've been drawing in for 7+ years and the only style I've ever had; though it has drastically evolved over that time) is not a valid style in the art classroom, or for that matter, in the art world, when I move on to college and a career.

I don't understand this, for several reasons.

One: The style I did the assignment in was not anime. She has been after me on this for two years already, and this must mean she's hypersensitive to it with me. Other kids in her classes, at my level and higher, do similar styles (more anime-reminiscent, in fact) and don't get bothered by her for it. She's seeing an anime style in my work when it isn't there.

Two: I can draw realistically. I took a whole course on it over the summer to strengthen my skills, and I have a whole sketchpad full of drawings of my classmates, rendered in a purely realistic style, to prove it. I do have the abilities, but the style I have is mine, and I prefer it to the more realistic style.

Three: She specifically said she wants me to have a style I can modify and apply to a wide range of things. That is what anime is essentially all about. Anime varies from styles like the ones in Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon, to those in Miyazaki films, to things like the highly realistic style of MushiShi. No two anime styles are the same. And mine, in my opinion and experience, is one that drastically changes from project to project. It can be more or less realistic based on where I'm using it. What about that isn't what she wants?

Four: I have been drawing in this style for over 7 years. Maybe more like 8, actually. I have no plan to change my style later in life--I want to stay in or around the anime field, because I like the culture and the concepts, as well as the people. Isn't this course getting me ready for what I'll do later in life? Why should I scrap all of my work thus far in my life and start from scratch for one high school course? That's like telling someone they can't listen to metal music anymore because the people around them like alternative. Or telling someone from India to stop eating indian food because they live in America, and here in America we eat hamburgers.

Five: She says that an art college won't take me with an anime-style portfolio. Problem 1: I don't have a single anime-style piece in my portfolio. I know it's not widely accepted yet in the art world, and wouldn't put something in there that would jeopardize the portfolio as a whole. Problem 2: I attended a Portfolio Day in Boston last year where I talked to a representative from the college I want to go to who said that they have a large part of the fine arts staff who is discovering this style as being more and more popular, and it's beginning to be recognized. By the time I attend that college, it may even have validity in a classroom. Just because this teacher wants realism, doesn't mean I have to abandon anime.

Six: Art is expressing yourself in your own way. If I can't use my own methods for what I do in the art world and how I express myself.... what's the point? Why should I express myself the way one person wants me to? She wouldn't want me doing a painting that someone else told me to do, and claim it was an original idea. It's the same thing. That's like lying to the art school I'm going to, or the people I'll work for later in life. That doesn't seem logical, or right, to me.

Seven: My style is not that much anime-ish. It has eveolved drastically over the years, like I've said, even between freshman year, when she started to notice it, and now. I believe it's a well-developed style that I've worked hard at. Really, really hard. And who's to say I'm going to be drawing people all day at a future job? I may go into literature, or photography. It's not worth the hell she's giving me over it. Grade objectively. That's the idea. Right?

Eight: I suppose I wouldn't have as much of a problem with this if she wasn't being condescending to me about it, like I'm some child who she's scolded and who won't listen to her. I do like her as a teacher; she's a very effective, knowledgable one, and is good at being criticizing of me and making me better. And I hear and understand what she's saying and why she's saying it to me, I really do. But my opinions differ. (My friends tell me just to smile and nod, because senior year we won't be assigned anything specifically, because it's a studio art course, so I just have to get through this year and completely avoid cartoon-drawing in my senior year. I'm incredibly tempted to do just this.)

TL;DR: What do you guys think? Grin and bear it? Fight back? Keep going on my merry little way?

Currently~
Mood: discouraged
Music: Careless--Amos Lee
Video: news
Lit: the Jungle--Upton Sinclair

if ten million fireflies lit up the world

SOOO. Yesterday was my birthday... and the day kinda sucked, but Ema made me a lovely cake and came over to my house after dance to eat it with me.

Today we're actually celebrating it, because the fam was too busy last night to celebrate.

I feel seventeen. Usually on birthdays, I still feel like I'm the age I was. But this year, 16 seems young. Junior on high school seems old, but seventeen doesn't. Maybe I'm coming into something. An era, perhaps.

We'll see.

To 17 years on this beautiful, messed up planet of ours.

Currently~
Mood: a bit stressed
Music: Owl City--Ocean Eyes <3<3<3<3
Video: w/e
Lit: The Jungle--Upton Sinclair

christ, you know it ain't easy

Pop Idol is tonight. I'm already kind of (really) nervous.

I wish there was something I could do to take my mind off of the crowd. ...I wish I was a better solo performer. I could be so much better if I didn't shake so much on stage.

Poo....

Currently~
Mood: nnervoussss
Music: The Ballad of John and Yoko--The Beatles
Video: stuff
Lit: Huck Finn

so i lay my head back down

I just went to the new eye doctor, and he dialated my eyes.

IT SUCKS. MY HEAD HURTS, AND I CANT SEE CLOSE UP STUFF, AND THE SUN IS DAMN BRIGHT.

D<

Currently~
Mood: ill
Music: Crystalised--The xx
Video:
Lit: Huck Finn

you caught me off guard; now i'm running

Today was picture day, and I had no homework... I got out of last period Bio to go to Art~! *SCORE*

Tonight are the Pop Idol preliminaries. I did really well at the practice last night, singing I Want To Hold Your Hand from Across the Universe, so I feel good about tonight. (Plus I know a few of the judges, lol). And I think my fast song for next week, the finals, will be Put Your Records on by Corinne Bailey Rae.

It will be cool.

Currently~
Mood: cheerful
Music: 1,2,3 Turnaround--Christian
Video: w/e
Lit: Jorge Luis Borges for Spanish

i will cry, i will love you to the day i die

Not much going on, actually. Except that SAKURA IS THE MOST EPIC PERSON EVER, AND SHE WROTE ME THIS, WHICH NEARLY MADE ME CRY: [link]

;A;

Our RP is... orgasmically good. I can't even.

Currently~
Mood: enthused
Music: Yiruma--First Love
Video: w/e
Lit: nothing, atm

till i find you

Finished all of my homework today. Took two and a half hours, but it felt good.

I think it'll be cold enough to wear my new grey suede boots tomorrow~

THE EPIC EVENT RP CONTINUES TONIGHT! The final breakdown will probably be tomorrow night. :3

Currently~
Mood: pumped
Music: Till I Find You--Yiruma (The whole album, First Love, is gorgeous. I'm in love with it <3)
Video: feh (OBAMA'S SPEECH LAST NIGHT, OH MAN)
Lit: nothing, atm @o@

the final word you ever uttered to me was love

Second day much, much better than the first. (Would've been perfect if Art hadn't been double-booked with Bio and I had to leave.... fffffffff)

Mr. Miller is still cool, since 6th grade. I'm sitting next to Alex Cobb, and the girl who transferred here from Brazil (I think it was Brazil...), Francis, sits in front of us. I hope I can speak spanish to her when I overcome my fear... and that she doesn't speak Portuguese, ahaha.

Our comm sem got switched to Ms Tavarez's room, which is cool, I guess. There's a Mexican exchange student in there whose broken English is so, so cute <3 We're gonna have a pasta party.

English teacher is officially cool. He did a social experiment on us, and said we were the most unique reaction he's ever gotten and that we messed up the whole experiment by being civilized and rational. Shava and I agreed our solution seemed obvious, hahaha.

SEAN CALLED LASTNIGHT. Sean from Anime class Sean. Instructor Sean. He said he want my work for a slideshow he's doing of exemplary work from his students. He said he's always loved my work and that he thinks it's very sweet. I don't remember getting recognition for my anime/manga work, like ever, so it's exciting.

I'm also keeping up with Colin on facebook! He demands more Reeses.

Other school is cool too... I'll see how this whole Bio thing works out. Then I'll deal with the semi-hell that is pre-calculus. ;____;

Currently~
Mood: buoyant
Music: Drops of Jupiter--Train
Video: w/e
Lit: Finished Grapes! On to Mice and Men.

love is not a victory march

I expected nothing from my first day, and I got almost that. I really like my English and Spanish teachers so far, Mr. Collins and Ms. Trubiano (who got rave reviews from Abby C).

Pre-Calc will also be cool--the teacher seems nice, and I'm sitting with Abby R and Emily.

Biology will... not be fun. I can't switch up into Honors, and frankly don't want to, now that I know having the lab periods will mess up all my classes.

Art will be a haul. But I have to be up to it.

I hope the first month will be better than the first day.

Currently~
Mood: discouraged
Music: Say--John Mayer
Video: Alice In Wonderland
Lit: 20 more pages in Grapes of Wrath--Of Mice and Men next.

you save me and i will save the day

I'm seriously freaking out now. It's coming, and my mind isn't there yet. fffffffffuck.

I want to stay home and do the epic RP I've been planning with Sakura ;^;

1 day left.

Currently~
Mood: pissy
Music: Save the Day--Train
Video: w/e
Lit: almost done with Grapes of Wrath...

no matter what has ever come to me

The party is today. The patio is covered with water balloons, beach balls, and pinata guts.

I don't expect to get any sleep tonight.

Hopefully I'll be able to talk to Sakura~ ;A; Our roleplay last night (18) was beautiful <3

Currently~
Mood: anticipation
Music: Use Somebody--Kings of Leon
Video: w/e
Lit: Grapes of Wrath (a little past halfway. eep.)

honestly, we'll never stop this train

Still working on all my projects. Given myself an invisible deadline of Friday. I can't even think about the end of the week--the thought of school makes me want to barf.

It's still hot out.

Currently~
Mood: emo
Music: Stop This Train--John Mayer
Video: Bonnie Hunt
Lit: Grapes of Wrath

i was on your porch lastnight

I finally finished the second set of paper babies, yesterday. Finally. Greece and Japan.

here

I think it's Italy and Germany next, for Emma (sakuratsukikage) and Aurus (aurussteelsword) for being sweet and awesome and so wonderful <3

Currently~
Mood: motivated
Music: Stop This Train--John Mayer
Video: cooking channel
Lit: Grapes of Wrath

good times never seemed so good

My wireless internet is out 3:

I think it's a hardware problem.

TODAY WAS THE SANDCASTLE COMPETITION! We won first place in our category!! We got a golden shovel!! It was so hardcore. We had a ton of fun, and I am incredibly sore.

Currently~
Mood: sore
Music: Blackbird--The Beatles
Video: w/e
Lit: new manga.

they say you can see your future in a glass of water

Today was the third day of realism drawing class. I met a lot of cute people in that class, and I'm doing fairly well for myself as far as the drawing goes. We've done a lot of contour drawing. I did a fairly siccessful self-portrait today, and it took me a long time to get the hang of gesture drawing. I think I have it now though.

Wayne and Loewy and Chris and Colin are coming to dinner tonight. Then we'll be saying goodbye to Colin for good. *cries*

I'm gonna miss him. A lot.

Currently~
Mood: complex (and hungry)
Music: LeftRightLeftRightLeft [Live]--Coldplay
Video: fanvids
Lit: w/e

i wanna be so much more than this

Last night was the planning dinner, and it was a ton of fun. We came up with an amazing idea~

I finally got Sakura-chan's request done! ;A; Now, on to the paper babies!

Currently~
Mood: relaxed
Music: My Sundown--Jimmy Eat World
Video: APHell II--The Pasta
Lit: fics

viva la vida

We just dropped Colin off at Wayne and Loewy's. /sadface

But we're going over there tomorrow night to have dinner and plan what to build when we go to the Sandcastle Building Contest in a week! :33

Sarah's back, also. She said the Coldplay concert was really awesome. And Colin and Chris are going to Paul McCartney at Fenway tonight!! I'm so jealous, I was making faces in the car when Colin told me that made him fear for his safety. Waaaaah~~

My RP's with Sakura-chan, a.k.a Emma, have become an unhealthy addiction. I'm RPing with her instead of doing her request fic, haha. And my paper babies, and the next chapter of the Frog Prince fic, the list goes ON.

Not enough hours in the day.

Currently~
Mood: hot n' cold
Music: Life--Kimaguren <333
Video: n/a
Lit: I should get going on Grapes of Wrath... I had a dream last night that I hadn't finished it and school was starting XD

Andre the Giant has a posse

Today we went to the Institue of Contemporary Art. The show was all the work of Shepherd Fairey, they guy who did the red and blue HOPE Obama poster that got in all that trouble. I got a set of his "Andre the Giant has a posse" stickers, and there's one on the laptop I'm typing this from.

We also made a trip to Dick Blick, and I got pens and bristol and fixatif spray... and two boxes of gum, one which is Happy Gum for Your Crappy Life and the other, Freakin' Magical Unicorn Gum (which makes you poop sunshine).

And we went to Coldstone Creamery, and Abby got back from Aussie land last night and is coming over in a bit. Colin's slowly getting over his jet lag.

Currently~
Mood: freakin' magical
Music: Hetalia Ska Mix II
Video: n/a
Lit: stuff (Haru Wo Daite Ita manga)

whisper words of wisdom

We went to Global today to go shopping, and I got some adorable skirts, a beautiful chinese-style dress, and an AMERICA LEATHER JACKET. It literally looks just like it except for the wool collar. But I'll sew it on. I'm mondo excited.

COLIN COMES TOMORROW~~

Currently~
Mood: EXCITED
Music: Across the Universe soundtrack
Video: n/a
Lit: fanfics

when you only had barely enough to hang on

So our plan now is to get an Artist's Alley table for Anime Boston next year, and sell my Hetalia figures and Rush Complex books of chapters 1 & 2. IT'S GONNA KICK ASS.

My hetalia guys:

So. yes. I'm making the whole world, eventually. X3

Currently~
Mood: EXCITED FOR RENT TONIGHT
Music: Dashboard Confessional
Video: misc
Lit: our RP :3

HOT DAMN.

I PASSED MY PERMIT TEST.

HELL YES, MOFOS.

I'M SO BLEEDING EXCITED IT'S ALL OVER, I'M SCREAMING AS I TYPE THIS.

Currently~
Mood: ECSTATIC
Music: Hetalia Ska Mix II
Video: fanvids
Lit: w/e

you would not believe your eyes

Slept until 1:30 yesterday. I think it's a new record. (Course I was up until 2:00 am, but...)

It was sunday, so my pally was on almost all day, and we RP'd like crazy. It was the funnest thing everr..... I love her for putting up with me ;A; She's the biggest sweetheart ever.

I hope we'll do it again tonight...

She's also on Twitter now. Hahaha~

Currently~
Mood: elated
Music: Owl City--Fireflies (I'm really into these guys this week)
Video: Alex McKee crap
Lit: fanfics

eras tu mi necesidad

I worked for Virginia today, and we cleaned up her new studio for the open studios tonight. I met lots of cool people as well. The Winchell Building is just fuul of awesome artists.

Her energy is so intense, and it captures you when you're around her. I always feel invigorated and tired after i've been with her. She has so much in her head, it almost makes mine spin.

I'm going to see a movie later with Ema and Mori. I dunno what we're seeing, but it will be fun to hang out with them.

Currently~
Mood: tired...
Music: Evanesence
Video: cosplay hilarity
Lit: w/e

come on baby we ain't gonna live forever

Spent the day at the beach with Ema and her mom and brother and his friend. It was really beautiful out and we had alot of fun...

but I got ANOTHER sunburn, this time on the backs of my thighs, from lying on my stomach with my upper half under the umbrella and my legs out in the sun.

I didn't think I could burn on my legs... but I guess that's the front of my legs...

I'm such a dumbass.

Currently~
Mood: pouty
Music: My Sundown--Jimmy Eat World
Video: w/e
Lit: I need to get going on Grapes of Wrath....

llegaste tu... y todo cambio

150th post~ <3

I'm done with babysitting for... like, the summer. DX

I'm gonna be kinda bored for the next couple of weeks... but hopefully I'll get some jobs with Virginia and I'll get to paint and stuff~ And mom's making me get my learner's permit before Colin arrives ;_; I'm scared....

I went to Dug Pond with Olivia and her friend Alice today... I didn't get in the water, but I did get some nice sun.

My sunburn's peeling like crazy... 9X

Currently~
Mood: summery
Music: Llegaste Tu--Jesse & Joy
Video: APHell
Lit: BLONDE AMBITION~!

the sky is blue; it's beautiful, and so are you

My sunburn hurts ;A;

EMA CAME OVER TODAY~ And we got more RC stuff accomplished (in 6 hours) than we ever have in one sitting EVER. We have more than half the forseeable story planned out, as well as most of the omake! Much merriment was had, and it was just awesome to be productive again <3

ALSO. I don't have to work tomorrow, cause the girls' grandmother is taking Olivia! (This week i'll only have Olivia, next week it'll be just Gracie.) I have another day to let my sunburn recover and let my neck heal from where I slept on it funny lastnight while I was trying to avoid sleeping on my burn DX

I'm a mess.

Currently~
Mood: dyin'
Music: Flying--The Secret Machines
Video: stuff
Lit: stuff

you're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow

This 4th of July was pretty amazing.

Saturday we saw the parade in Natick, which was really fun. Then we drove down and had a party at Uncle Trip's. Everyone was there, even Tyler and Lindsey. It was really fun, and we got to see the first twenty or so minutes of the Breakfast Club. I need to see the rest of that movie.

Today we went out for breakfast with Grandpa, and it was really yummy, and then we went to the beach house and had the typical feast. It was really fun and the weather for both days has been absolutely drop-dead gorgeous.

I LOOK LIKE A LOBSTER. I'm burned on my shoulders, all the way down to my wrists on both arms, on my chest above my bra line and down my back until the back of my tank top. It stings so, so badly. I didn't even know I could get this burned! It's like something out of a comedy movie! I'm actually a little impressed.

Currently~
Mood: paaaaaaaiiiiiinnn
Music: Put Your Records On--Corinne Bailey Rae
Video: Hetalia fan vids
Lit: Grapes of Wrath--Steinbeck

a grey color; it's our perception

Still raining.

Girls are still adorable.

Currently~
Mood: hyper
Music: Tu y Yo--Pilar Diaz
Video: MetroCon stuff
Lit: w/e

birds flyin' high, you know how i feel

Nothing exciting happens on Mondays...

I went back to babysitting the girls, and we watched movies all day since it's (STILL) raining. It's been raining almost non-stop for... four weeks, this Friday. In june. That's just so, so wrong.

I went to see the proposal last night with Carolyn, and it was really sweet, She's dating this really cute brazillian in our class now, and his name is Josh. X3

I can't wait for Ema and Abbs to get back from their Mission Trip in Louisiana. I wanna have sleepovers and stuff ;A;

Also, I have a checking account! Sweet, right?

Currently~
Mood: drowsy
Music: Good Morning--Singing in the Rain
Video: stuff on my iPod, thanks to this lovely place~
Lit: Grapes of Wrath

we're tumbling down, we're spiralling

I don't know what to think about Michael Jackson's death.

I mean, he was Elvis. He was a musical genius, he was out-of-this-world famous, and he suffered a tragic demise. Elvis.

I think I feel more bad for all of his fans, who miss him so much, than I do for him. I know alot of people are really torn up over it. I guess I'm just sad for him. His life wasn't lived on a rainbow farm, exactly. But he was extremely brilliant, I won't dispute that.

The world will miss him.

In other news, Liv and Gracie are soooooooooo adorable, and we watched Princess Diaries and went to Crazy Jayne's for ice cream and got caught in the rain. I love them so much <33

Currently~
Mood: sentimental
Music: Falling Slowly--Glen Hansard
Video: Thriller, haha
Lit: APH doujinshi