it's not behind the rhino

I think i'll get a webcam with the money I saved from not buying an iPod dock. I'd like very much to talk to Colin on Skype.

Had a few interesting conversations today.

I was talking about a friend who is out of high school with my mum, and I said she describes herself as 'pan-sexual.' And she's like "Pansexual??! What is THAT?" (not exaggerating.)

And I was like, "well, she doesn't discriminate with people like trans-genders, that sort of thing." I mean, I didn't know how to describe it really... how do you describe pan-sexuality to a person whose never heard of it?

(I've always thought it was partly like a message about a erson, like 'i'm not afraid to be with people who may have been a different person before I met them.' Or something to that effect. but anyway.)

And she said "-sigh- Why can't they just be heterosexual?"

That confused me. I was like "What, d'you mean there's something wrong with everyone else?"

The rest of her argument was lost to me; I was too caught up in that other thing. I mean... I just don't get it! What's so hard to understand about it all? I began to think my mother's world is alot smaller than i've thought before.

Also, I was talking to Ema-chan, who told me about a kid i've known for a while who just told her that he's bi.

I wasn't surprised by this, but I found myself wondering why it was so important for him to only tell the people who he knew would keep it a secret. I mean, he's a really nice kid, so who did he think would persecute him?

Then I really heard what my mom said. And I thought, maybe it's MY world that's small. Is humanity still so abrasive and adamantly against these kinds of differences that people don't feel comfortable coming out?

And then, again with Ema-chan, we talked about a person she was talking to who said she didn't think teenagers in high school had sexualities (as in, they don't know what they were, hormones and everything.)

And I thought, this isn't always true. My mum is constantly saying this as well, that the hormones make you think you're attracted to both sexes. But what about people who really know? Like that kid. I'm sure he does really know, but who's going to take him seriously? If not Ema or me, then who?? Just because he's in high school, he can't know who he is? Not everyone discovers themselves in or after college.

Again, am I just totally unplugged? Do I know that little about the world? I really want to think that people are more open than that, but maybe it's still just a wish.

I thought we were past this. Apparently not.

This makes me feel sad. And very small.

Currently~
Mood: distant
Music: Hellogoodbye EP
Video: my baby cousin face-planting in the snow
Lit: Angus, Thongs and Full-frontal Snogging